Recovering From Infidelity

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Recovering from infidelity is never going to be easy. Whenever a violation of trust has occurred there is always caution on the part of the victim.  This is completely understandable. There is no definitive way to overcome infidelity, but there are lots of possible solutions. The first decision is whether the couple are going to remain together or not.
Either way, the victim will take a long time to heal. 

Trust is based on belief, and ones beliefs are the bedrock of how we move throughout our lives. Some beliefs are much stronger and important than others. Obviously, in the case of romantic attachments, one believes (usually) that ones partner is completely honest, and trustworthy. Coupled with that, is the belief that their partner is completely faithful. These fundamental beliefs are often the bedrock of a relationship, and consequently carry powerful emotional attachments.
Just as one set of beliefs are smashed, another set of powerful beliefs replace them. These beliefs are now the complete opposite of trust. Almost everything is viewed with suspicion, and as the impact of the event sinks in, the anger begins to unfold.
Anger is usually high on the scale of emotions when you are recovering from infidelity, alongside humiliation, anxiety, depression, and confusion, and these are the emotions that will need to be assuaged. 

As you are recovering from infidelity it may seem that there is very little improvement because the changes are small and almost undetectable. However, with the right guidance and with determined effort and support it is possible to start recovering.  None the less, it will be a process that may well take considerable time. Recovering from infidelity is much like recovering from a bereavement. 

Usually, when a couple decide to stay together they take decisive steps to change what had brought about the betrayal. This usually involves a process of absolute honesty in stating what the needs of each partner are. Once the needs of each partner are known, the process of recovering from infidelity may begin.

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Conversely, if the couple decide to break up, there is still much work needed to recover from the impact of the event. In some cases it may still be necessary to see a counsellor or use some of the other aids available, and would probably be wise to do so.  It can take a long time recovering from post traumatic shock, and it should never be treated lightly. If the issues aren't worked through carefully then it may impact upon a person for more years than necessary, and indeed some people never recover at all it they don't seek some kind of help.

How To Detect If Your Partner Is Cheating On You

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When you have the haunting feeling that your partner is cheating on you, that is the only thing that you can think about. You don’t want your greatest fear to come true but you worry that it may. The suspense is tearing you apart. You can’t even look at your spouse in the same way until you know the truth and you know that they aren’t going to come out and say it. It’s up to you to get the truth to come out and you have to make this happen now. 

To detect infidelity in your relationship now, you need to learn these 5 signs. It is the only way that you are going to learn the truth. If they aren’t going to be honest with you then you need to take a stand for what is right and what is true. Bust that cheater in the act today. 

1. They are never home. A person who is cheating will avoid the one and only place they feel the most vulnerable – at home with you. If your spouse constantly makes excuses as to why they aren’t home with you or you barely spend any time with them, it is probably because they are trying to hide something from you that they know will escape if they are alone with you. 

2. There is no intimacy. If you and your spouse just aren’t intimate at all any more, then that is a sign that they may be cheating. If things have started to go downhill for a while now, that could have been the reason why they decided to cheat in the first place. They also might not have intimacy with you because they are nervous of being vulnerable and the truth coming out. 

3. They aren’t where they say they are. If your spouse says they are going to be late coming home or out with friends, try to catch them in a lie. Show up to the office or try to call one of their friends saying that your spouse’s phone wasn’t working. If they aren’t where they say they are, then you know you are catching them in a lie and it will all come out soon. 

4. You fight. If your spouse is cheating then they probably blame you for the reason as to why they did it. Therefore, they will have a lot of animosity towards you and it will probably rear it’s ugly head in the most random of situations. If they yell at you or pick on you for the smallest of things, that is a sign that something is going on. 

5. They aren’t “all there”. You know your spouse the best and you know when you look into their eyes if they are looking back at you in the same way. If that spark or love just isn’t there any longer or they seem distracted, then you can tell something is up. 

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Instead of guessing what is going on in your relationship, you want to learn the truth and you want to learn it now. 

How to Find Love

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Is finding a love on your mind? Have you been disappointed in your search? While it may seem like discovering the type of relationship you long for is beyond your reach, rest assured it’s not impossible.
 
There are many strategies you can use to help you in your quest for that special someone. And once you find that extraordinary person who loves you for who you are, your relationship can carry you forward, together, toward your dreams and complete fulfillment!

Here are a few important tips to help you find the love you seek:

• Know your own needs - When looking for a long-term relationship, the first thing you need to do is clarify your own wants and needs. After all, if you don’t know what you want, how will you recognize it when you find it?

• Know who you are, what you want out of life, and what you absolutely don’t want. Many people go out looking for a relationship with no clue what they really need or want in a companion. When you’re able to figure out your own desires and know who you truly are, then you’re much more likely to find someone who fulfills those desires.

• Be firm with your values - It’s essential to stand up for the values you find important. If your love interest has completely different core values, then you’re not going to be able to build a strong, loving, and lasting relationship.

• You can still have a relationship with someone you disagree with on some issues. However, the foundational values that you hold dear should be shared. This could be your religious or political values, or whatever else is important to you.

Distinguish your goals - What are your goals? Where do you plan to be in five or ten years? A relationship where both partners have very different goals will be difficult.

• It’s important that you find someone with similar goals so you’re both heading in the same direction. You want to come closer together as your relationship grows, not be torn apart by wildly differing goals. For example, discuss important subjects such as children, career aspirations, and family life before jumping into a relationship. You don’t have to get too deep into the topic, just make sure you’re both headed down the same path. As grave differences can tear a couple apart down the road.

Be true to yourself - This is imperative if you want to find the loving relationship your heart longs for. You should never settle for someone just because you want to be in a relationship.

• Don’t allow your desire to have a loving relationship sell you short of what you really deserve.  If you’re not true to yourself, you’ll suffer from it soon and come to regret it later. You may wake up one day and realize you’re not happy with your life, including the person you’re sharing it with.

Finding a loving relationship is possible – don’t let anyone, including yourself, try to tell you otherwise. However, it’s important that you take the time to prepare yourself to attract your soul mate.

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By following these tips, you’re putting yourself in a good position to spark a connection that will last for a lifetime. It might take some time and effort to get to know yourself first, but the results will be worth it.

Are You Ready To Start Dating Again?

Ready To Get Back Out There?          
               
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Men and women have to redefine themselves after a relationship ends, and reinvent their lives. If they do it well, it can lead to the most satisfying and successful years they've had. Dating successfully after divorce or a breakup require several steps to recover from the breakup.
Understanding what went wrong in the last relationship, so you don't repeat the pattern.
Identifying the kind of partner you're looking for and developing social networks involving these kinds of people.
Some people never date again or don't do so for a long time. People who wait a long time, or never date are trying to avoid repeating old mistakes and having hurt feelings, loss, disappointment and grief. This is akin to not changing anything in your departed partner's closet, because you don't want to face the pain. A better way to do it is to work through the pain, and learn from it as you go. You can figure out what went wrong, what your mistakes were, and how to correct all that and re-think your idea of relationships. This may require the help of a therapist.

Once you've taken the steps needed to recover from a breakup , finding a new love is simple, because you've changed the odds to be in your favor. But there are a few tips to help you as you start dating again.       MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK 

1. Don't have sex right away with your new partner.
Keep in mind that, if you have sex right away, it usually brands the relationship as sex -only and you don't get taken seriously. So, if you want to see if you can manage it, pick someone you're attracted to, but realize there's no relationship there. Also, if you are the type who bonds upon having sex, keep that in mind -- your partner may not be, so make sure there's some bonding there before you try it.

2. Take precautions when you do have sex.
Safer sex, of course. If you're female, don't just worry about pregnancy -- make sure you're informed about disease, as well. Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) can be deadly and devastating, so always provide a condom and insist on using it unless you're both tested and in a committed relationship (with someone you can trust).

3. Deal with the awkwardness of sex with a new partner.
I recommend the zen idea of a beginner's mind: Accept that everything you’re doing now is new to you, and open yourself to learning about it. Wide-eyed wonder at whatever happens is very attractive. I’m not talking about being brainless or thoughtless. On the contrary. A beginner’s mind is alert, observing, and open to new ideas. Your objective is to learn — about what people are doing, who they are, what the possibilities are and how it all fits in to your goals.
Everything you’ve learned about relationships and dating in your past is certainly useful, and you’ll draw on it as we go along, but your general approach to this process is as a beginner -- 'I’m new at this, I want to learn.' Because you are a beginner, you can open lots of conversations by simply asking questions about what’s going on.

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Give Love Another Chance, Now That You Are a Little Wiser

If you've lost a significant other, then it's time to stand up, brave your heart and continue a course that has long been forgotten: DATING.
Granted, it should be understood that age does not necessarily equate to maturity, but most seniors (hopefully) have come to view ideas and events differently than they viewed them in their 20s or 30s.

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Are you ready for mature dating?
According to an online suite 101 article, there are many benefits of age that may naturally be implemented in mature dating.  Opinions to the contrary, this isn't necessary a bad thing.  Many Seniors take time to explore their talents or simply to observe more deeply than perhaps they have ever observed in their lives.
Take time to walk in beautiful gardens or to listen to music as you sit and talk softly.

Some questions that will revel your date's interests and personality:

• What is your most treasured possession and why?
• Which is the last book you read?
• Which is the one job in the world that you would love to do?
• Do you believe a cup is half empty or half full?
• If you could travel through time, what single mistake would you correct in life?

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Mature Dating:  less worry over physical appearance!
That's freedom - Take time to love who you are.

What Deep Rooted Fears Are Keeping You Single?

 It is very difficult to sit with a group of your friends and hear their stories and experiences that are taking place in their relationships - especially if you’re on your own. It will make you look at your life and wonder just how it is that you’re still single while all of your friends your age are married or at least in serious relationships. You start to feel down, depressed, frustrated and wonder if you’ll ever have what they do.

Have you ever thought that this could be something that you’ve brought on yourself? There are actually fears that can keep you single and you may not even know that you have them.

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You may be afraid that you will be single forever. This is something that many single people fear whether they admit it or not. It usually happens when you’ve had a few, or more than a few, unpleasant or seriously awful relationships, especially in a row. Somewhere in the back of your mind you’re thinking that you may NEVER have that just right relationship. This can really worry you if it’s later in your life than you thought you’d be single. Men can tell when a woman is desperate and scared to be on her own. Sensing this can change the way a man feels toward you. So, you see, holding onto this fear that you’ll never meet the Mr. Right may very well push him away when he DOES show up.

Another fear that can keep you single is the fear of losing your man. Most people are on their best behavior when they first meet. However, there are some guys that act creepy right out of the gate by assuming too much about where your relationship is going. They may even start getting possessive and/or controlling. Women that exhibit this same type of behavior with men after only a few dates will scare those men away. So when you start worrying about losing the guy before you ever really connect with him, it can make you act in ways that, while totally uncharacteristic of you, can cause the end of this relationship before it even starts. 

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One of the top fears that might keep you single forever is that he will turn out to be just like your ex. This is pretty easy to understand. If your last relationship ended badly, you need to take enough time to get emotionally under control again. When you give it enough time, then your next man will get a fair chance without you comparing him to your ex. Breaking the emotional ties to your past, and the fear associated with it, helps you move away from the past without taking any old problems or patterns into the new relationship you’re trying to get off the ground.

Be very honest about whether or not you have these fears. Only by admitting to them can you start getting rid of them. 

5 Ways To Attract Positive Relationships Into Your Life

As we travel through our life's journey, many relationships will come into our lives. Some of them will be wonderful and long lasting; others, unfortunately, may be short term or unhappy.

Do you tend to attract more negative relationships than positive? Though we strive to develop good, solid, and happy relationships, it seems we sometimes end up with exactly the opposite. Wouldn't you love to attract more positive relationships? The good news is, you can!

Try some of these simple tips to enjoy more positive relationships in your life:

1. Patience. Wonderful relationships don't occur overnight. They take time to nurture and develop into something that's long lasting. To allow these relationships into your life, you must have the patience to let them grow.

• When you begin a relationship that you perceive as being a positive one, don't rush it. You may be very pleased to see what develops down the road.

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2. Believe that you're deserving of it. Be positive and avoid negative feelings or perceptions about yourself. Know that you deserve to have happy, stable relationships in your life.

• If you begin to think negatively, you must turn these negative thoughts around immediately. Clear your mind and regain your self-confidence.
• Remember, positive attracts positive. When you think positive thoughts, you'll be rewarded with positive results.
• You'll ultimately attract positive relationships into your life with the positive energy you're giving off to others. So be a good example of the friend or partner you look to attract!

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3. Be true to yourself and others. If you're not true to yourself, whether you believe it or not, others will sense this. Don't try to be something that you're not; this is a negative way of portraying yourself to others.

• As mentioned before, positive attracts positive, but negative attracts negative as well. Show others your true self, including your flaws. They'll appreciate your open and willing heart and be able to form a strong bond with you more easily.
• Be genuine to others and allow them to see your true feelings and personality. Trying too hard to act like someone else could lead to embarrassment for you.

4. Don't take relationships for granted. Remember to always give thanks for the valuable relationships in your life. They may not be as numerous as you'd like, but rather than complaining, be thankful for the ones you have now and have had in the past.

• By professing your gratitude genuinely, you'll have an easier time attracting future positive relationships.

5. Be honest. If you're in a negative relationship right now, that will tend to keep positive relationships from coming into your life. Be honest with yourself and others. Make a conscious decision to either improve that relationship or end it.

Are You Rushing the Relationship ?

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Have you ever found yourself in this situation? You started dating a good guy who is full of integrity, charming, funny and considerate. The lines of communication seem to be wide open and you feel connected. You start to imagine life together with him on a daily basis and ponder over fantasies of how he may propose and where the wedding will be, the dress, the guests, the honeymoon. In your mind you have already married him and are living happily ever after. In reality he has never even once discussed marriage with you.

Then, the unthinkable takes place! This Man of Your Dreams tells you he isn't ready for a relationship. You are crushed. You feel rejected, angry, hurt and now he has become the enemy. In your mind he is insensitive and has led you on when really, he was just being truthful. Because women tend to be agents of change, they enjoy the idea of moving things along to the next level. This often includes relationships. The snag in all of this is that by focusing on the next level one misses out on the present moment that is to be relished. Why not enjoy the relationship for what it is today? Why not take pleasure in the journey of friendship and see where it takes you?

Marriage should not be required as the next level ever.  When we focus on marriage as the ultimate goal, it almost seems like we are searching for anyone who would fit the bill to be placed in that role. And what we should be looking for is an honest man who is willing to walk through the seasons of friendship and develop a relationship without being so concerned over where it is headed. It is possible to enjoy the journey without making requirements for the future. If you realize that this has been a pattern for you, making the choice for change is the first step.

Recognize your thoughts when they start down that familiar path and remind yourself that commitment does not always end in marriage and marriage does not assure you of happiness. Embracing who you are, strengthening the qualities you possess and polishing any areas of weakness will not only enhance your ability to delight in the voyage of exploration but will cause you to be irresistible for when the right guy does come along. Determine that you will not be so focused on rushing the results but appreciate the unfolding of the adventure.
  
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5 Tips To Attracting and Meeting The Right Woman Online

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Although online dating seems simple enough, learning how to attract women online, may be just as difficult as meeting the right woman in person. Sure, online dating is easier in the sense that you can set up your likes and dislikes, and get to know someone before you meet; but, if you are not honest, and if you don't use the right sites, it can be difficult meeting women online as well. These are a few tips for men who want to learn how to attract women online, and meet their ideal match.

1. Be honest -
Honesty is key; no relationship can survive without it. Many men put up false identities, but you are eventually going to meet and you don't want to be found providing false information. So, include:
- Your looks (height, eye color, hair color, etc).
- What your interests are.
- What your turn ons/ offs are.
- What you are looking for.
- If you have kids.
This information, and the bio you create with your online profile, should be honest. It might seem like a white lie saying you are 5'10'', when you are really 5'5'', but when you meet someone, and they realize you have lied to them, it seems as if they didn't get to know you at all. Be honest and forthcoming, as this will make meeting in person easier, and will build a comfortable relationship of trust, before you even start dating.

2. Create an interesting profile -
If you want to learn how to attract women online, you have to sell yourself. Create a profile that speaks volumes about you; what you like to do, what your job is, what type of friends you have, and so on. Sell yourself as an outgoing person, and someone who lives their life; but, also make sure you are honest with what you enjoy. If you hate sports, and find someone online who loves them, what will you have to talk about? Make sure you detail yourself in your bio, and really create an identity for the other person to get to know. Not only will it allow you to connect easily, it will allow you to find women who have the same interests as you do.

3. Add a picture -
Sure, it seems shallow, but just like you want to know whether or not you are attracted to her, she wants to know the same. The basic idea behind finding out how to attract women online, is about portraying yourself completely. So, use pictures online, not only so they can see who they are talking to, but also to showcase your best features. Looks aren't everything, but a physical attraction has to be present, if you want the relationship to work.

4. Use the right sites -
If you are a religious person, someone who loves sports, or someone who loves going to museums, different online sites and dating sites cater to different types of people. Using the right site, is essential to finding someone who shares similar interests as you. If you go to a site which is catered to certain hobbies, people of a certain religion, or other specialized sites, it is far easier to meet your match, and meet someone who truly shares similar interests as you do.

5. Confidence, not arrogance -
There is a fine line between arrogance and confidence; make sure you come off as confident, and someone who is proud, but don't come off as arrogant. Being confident, in your looks, personality, job, and lifestyle, is a great turn on; but, when you start showing off, and putting others down, it is a great turn off to women. Show that you are confident in yourself and your abilities, without having to put others down, or create a false persona, in order to speak to the woman you are attracted to.
Although learning how to attract women online may seem simple enough, it does take a bit of searching, and communicating with a few women, to really find what you are looking for. With so many online dating sites, it is quite possible to meet your ideal match online. Following these simple tips will not only help you find someone you would be compatible with, but also how to build an honest, and open relationship with that person, from the very first communication you have with them.
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Looking For Love - Are You Searching In The Right Place?

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We all come to a point in our lives where we need or want a special someone to share our lives with, but where do we find this person. Where do we look?

Statistically in this day and age 1 out of every 5 relationships begins online. There is a smorgasbord of singles that are all online for the same purpose. This helps narrow down your search, but the question is what online dating site is best for you? This is where the real hunting begins.

First you need to narrow down exactly what it is you are looking for: Friendship, casual dating, romance, or a serious long-term relationship. Once you know what it is you seek you can most likely find a social network or dating site that is specifically for your socializing purpose.

Now that you have narrowed down what you are looking for in a relationship, and the dating sites that are best suited for you, you should join one or more dating sites answering all compatibility questions honestly and accurately. This will help the dating sites search engine find you the types of people you, are most compatible with hence shrinking the gap between you and your new special someone.  Here is where your future is in your hands. You must now make the first move and say hello to those matches to which you find attractive. Even if you are shy, online dating is the perfect way for you to learn how to become a social butterfly. It also gives you the perfect opportunity to really get to know someone before you talk on the phone or meet him or her in person.

So you have now found that perfect someone that you enjoy chatting with and get along amazingly and they want to meet you. First in person dates for online dating experiences should be casual and fun. Try meeting for lunch or an early dinner, somewhere populated and fun that will help take the first date pressure off of both of you. This way if you hit it off and want to spend more time together the night is still young.

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Transform Your Relationship

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Conflicts inherent in a relationship are the building blocks to transformation if people are open to stepping out and exploring their differences.
Sometimes it takes a “wake-up” call to kick us out of mediocrity. In working with couples, we share that the conflicts that begin to surface when one partner (or both) gets bored, frustrated or angry are cause for celebration because nothing is going wrong. Couples often look at conflicts as problems to solve as quickly as possible, yet what if they were seen as building blocks to a transformed relationship? We might welcome them and yes, celebrate them! We might get curious and want to understand our partner more.

Here is an equation to a transformed relationship:

DESIRE + DECISION + CLEAR VISION + AWARENESS X ACTION= RESULTS

Notice that action is the multiplying factor and that without action nothing changes.

Here are some questions to ask yourself if you know that you desire more in your relationship:
* Where do I stay in the comfort zone in my intimate relationship?
* How is it impacting me?
* How is it impacting my partner?
* Am I willing to make a change?
* What am I willing to consider doing differently to step out of my comfort zone?
* Am I willing to explore the idea that nothing is going wrong?
* Am I willing to explore our differences?
* Can I keep an open mind to the possibility of a transformed relationship?

Have you ever found yourself doing the same things day after day and you begin to wonder, “Is this all there is to my life?”  Also known as living in the comfort zone, this place can be seductive for all of us. We are often very comfortable, of course and that can have us reacting and responding to our partners in automatic, habitual ways. This is far from sexy!
We are meant to live in our zone of genius and when the comfort zone gets boring and downright uncomfortable that is actually a time for celebration.  This is when you can focus on change.
There is absolutely no growth in the comfort zone and relationships will not change for the better when we continue doing the same old things.
We know this in our conscious mind yet it’s the sub-conscious mind that is in charge of our automatic, habitual ways. Once we realize this and welcome some discomfort, things begin to change.

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How To End Emotional Abuse And Restore Your Self Worth

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Do you know many individuals find themselves so irretrievably stuck in emotionally abusive relationships that often they literally become "numb" to the toxic consequences of their situation? Do you know this "unconsciousness" is perhaps the single most important factor keeping one stuck in and enduring such suffering?
Do you know that many justify their unconscious state with negative limiting beliefs such as: I don't deserve better, No one else will be attracted to me, I'm afraid of being alone, I will not be able to take care of myself, I lack the self-confidence to go out and find a better relationship, All relationships are the same etc.? Do you know that these beliefs behave like enslaving hypnotic trance-like states that one can permanently wake up from, become free, empowered and finally able to have self respecting healthy relationships? Want to learn more about how this can help you change your life? Remaining unconscious is tantamount to lying to one's self about what is actually being experienced! So why would anyone ever want to do that, you might ask?
Yes, I realize that logically it makes absolutely no "adult" sense, yet from the perspective of a vulnerable, helpless and dependent child who, say, is being emotionally abused, the only way that they may be able to tolerate the emotional (and also often "physical") pain is to go into a sort of illusionary fantasy world where they a) numb themselves to the pain and b) create false interpretations of why the abuse is happening to them.
These interpretations help them to cope with the fact that they are unsafe, insecure, helpless, alone, unloved, and unwanted, etc.
For a child such feelings can make them feel extremely overwhelmed and hence must be avoided at all costs. Now because they often have little or no control over their situation they attempt to "assume" control (as bizarre as this may sound) by choosing to believe that what is happening has something to do with them i.e. they are unlovable, defective, inadequate, unattractive, unworthy etc.
Such negative "self" beliefs, in a weird way, makes them feel like they might be able to change the current circumstances if only they can change themselves i.e. do things to make themselves more lovable, wanted, perfect, worthy, attractive, etc. This strategy unfortunately is built upon the negative self beliefs that effectively never actually disappear, no matter how hard the person works at changing themselves.
As they enter their adult years this means that they feel unworthy of a healthy relationship and inevitably find themselves drawn to and stuck in relationships that are only too familiar i.e. emotionally abusive ones.

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If one could wake up from the hypnotic trance state that these negative self beliefs create one would finally be able to free themselves and also begin to experience their true confident, empowered, independent, strong, resilient, capable and self-sufficient adult state.
Many of these beliefs, as stated are rooted in early relationship experiences that remain stored in the subconscious mind as negative memories. As these "memory programs" are deleted the beliefs they generate and support also dissolve allowing the person to awaken and be free.
A new coaching process developed a decade ago has been helping individuals around the world wake up to and become their true mature, authentic, independent, strong, self-confident, resilient, self respecting self; this inevitably leads to self respecting relationships.
To learn more about this process and see how it might change your life forever kindly visit the web site below where you can also request a free introductory telephone/Skype consultation to help you get started.
Web Site: http://mindresonanceprocess.com

Mature Dating - Perfect Your Online Dating Profile

Online Dating can be a very rewarding experience, but also at times an extremely daunting one. No matter how confident or professionally successfully you are, signing up to a dating site is a scary prospect. Perhaps one of the biggest worries is how to portray yourself effectively in so few lines?

Your online dating profile can be as important as a photo in attracting perspective dates, but how do you sum yourself up accurately and impressively in so few words? Luckily following these few simple tips can make this process a lot easier for you and make your dating experience a whole lot more successful.

1. Be Positive! It is essential to be positive in your approach to online dating and in how you represent yourself. Negativity is a turn off, so in your profile talk about things you love not hate, and how excited you are to be joining a online dating  service, not how nervous or apprehensive you maybe.
2. Be Unique! There will be thousands of profiles out there; many will be very similar and typical. Make yours stand out from the crowd, don't worry about putting the odd person off, you'll attract much more interest through your individuality and uniqueness.
3. Use Examples – When describing yourself, don't just say that you like films, say what films you like. If you like reading, what books do you like? If you describe yourself as funny, be funny in your online dating profile, don't just claim it.
4. Honesty – There may be a big temptation to embroider the truth or even just make things up. You don't need to, you are interesting and exiting enough as you are. Plus if a relationship does happen then these lies may be hard to cover up and come back to bite you.
5. Photo – Photos are integral to dating websites, despite other temptations you should pick a good, but honest and fairly recent photo of yourself, doing otherwise will just cause complications later. Let the photo show the kind of person you are, if your sporty why not use a picture of you playing a sport?
6. Relax – One of the biggest advantages of online dating sites is that there is little pressure. Unlike meeting face to face you don't need to be quick witted or confident to impress. You can take your time in producing an impressive profile that says everything you want about yourself, you can make your perfect first impression.

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The online dating world is an exciting one, with a lot of opportunities and if you  follow these tips you should be well on the way to many successful dates.

10 Flirting Guidelines for Men

TOP 10 FLIRTING GUIDELINES FOR MEN

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1) Kick off your interaction with energy!
Greet people in a cheerful, spirited, but above all, energetic way. The very first impression is key, and it's a lot more difficult to kick off your interaction in a low-energy way and build up than it is to begin full of energy and let things settle down.
The more energy you have at the start, the more ready she'll be to let herself to be carried away by your energy.  Yes, you can have too much energy, and come across like a nut. Do not do that. Adjust your energy level suitable to the situation. You need to be just a little bit more energetic than she is, though not too much more. Entering a relaxed dinner discussion like you're on the dance floor at a nightclub is not going to work.
2) Make good eye contact.
Few things communicate your confidence better than making direct eye contact. Always look her in the eyes, and hold eye contact longer than what is generally considered comfortable in typical situations.
A solid gaze is commonly quite seductive, and helps create a strong connection between the 2 of you.
3) Use her name in your conversation.
When you repeat a woman's name while speaking to her does several things:
First, it shows the girl that you're actually making an effort to use her name and remember it.
In a subtle way, it helps create familiarity and comfort when you mention someone's name while talking to them. If you do this, she will feel comfortable and familiar with you instantly!
4) Ask questions, but do it correctly.
Girls love talking about themselves, and it's good to show some interest in her. However, do not overdo it since it's easy to come off as putting too much value on her. So don't make that error.
Be interested in her, and collect some details to identify common interests in between you two. Commonalities that you can utilize to develop additional connection.
For example, if she mentions having been to Hong Kong and you've been there as well, you can relate to that and begin discussing your own adventures there. This will help create a strong emotional connection.
5) Talk about your life experiences.
Just like with the Hong Kong example, sharing experiences you've experienced and adventures you have had helps form her thoughts of you and catches her imagination. By sharing specific stories, you can direct her opinion of you and have her believe exactly what you want her to believe about you.
6) Use flattery.
There is an old saying, "Flattery will get you everywhere!" And undoubtedly, women enjoy it when men say flattering things about them - as long as it's real and original.
You do not want to seem insincere or find yourself caught in a lie, or go around compromising your integrity by giving out compliments for things you do not truly find attractive. even more important, you don't want to be giving the same compliments everyone else does - then you just look like everyone else!
Simply put, if you can tell she gets compliments on her smile all the time, find something a bit more unique to compliment. Like possibly how her smile makes her eyes crinkle in a charming way.
The secret to flattery is to set yourself apart from every nerd complimenting her on the exact same smile.
7) Once in a while, whisper.
Do this in such a way that it fits the context, of course, but there are few things more sexy and flirtatious than whispering. Leaning in to someone and lowering your voice builds an aura of intimacy that can not be resisted. In fact, the closer you get when whispering, the greater the level of intimacy and the stronger the emotional connection.
8) Fill your voice with self-confidence.
The last thing you want to do while flirting is to come off as not sure, insecure, or scared. Be secure in yourself and your knowledge.
If she says something you disagree with, don't hesitate to set the record straight or get into a light argument if you need to. Provided you don't go overboard, women react well to self-confidence and male aggression.
9) Use nicknames.
When you give a name to something, you are symbolically conveying ownership over it. So when you give a nickname to a woman, you are concurrently establishing your dominance of the communication and building an image she needs to live up to.
For instance, if she is cute and shy, you can call her hello kitty. Tease her and make some jokes on it. Soon, she'll come to associate hello kitty with you and try to live up to the cute image solely for you.
10) Leave her wanting for more.
You don't want to exhaust everything in your flirting toolbox right away, so change between flirting and not flirting. Flirting continually comes off as too strong, and it might be hard for you to keep putting that much energy into your interaction. Switching keeps you from wearing out even as it keeps the interaction going.
Also, it permits you to extend the communication so when it's time to part ways, she'll still be interested in hearing more from you. A lot of guys will begin the flirting with high energy and let the energy drop so by the end, the woman has gotten her fill of you.
So always end your flirting on a high note that leaves her wanting more!

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Helpful Dating Tips for Men over 40

 Some men over 40 will benefit from dating advice. Guys could be in the situation of testing the dating scene following a lengthy absence. As it is, they might be somewhat nervous about their method of dating. However, you don't have to worry.  Human beings still relate to each other much as they have for a very long time. Although the dating scene has changed quite a bit. The creation of online dating has really helped with this.

Using online dating sites to meet someone new: Life, family, and work are all vying for your precious time when you are in your forties. If you choose to use online dating websites, you'll bypass a lot of the burden and free up a lot of time that people invest in dating.  Entering the dating scene as a man over 40 may seem daunting but there are many helpful hints and tips that can aid you.

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The following are some more useful ones:Remember to behave according to your age.  This  suggestion might appear, superficially at least, a bit blunt. Many men try to act like they are back in their 20's when they re-enter the dating scene so it is a necessary statement to make. Some people think that this kind of thing will help them seem up to date. In actuality, they end up looking rather childish. Honestly, if you want to making dating work for you, then you have to come across as a responsible individual!

But, you should be sure to give an impression of hipness, in a good sense of the word! It can be a good idea to read current fashion and entertainment magazines to spot the latest trends. This way, you can hold a conversation about current topics instead of looking like you've been a shut-in for quite awhile.

You should always do your best to be positive when out on a date. Once more, this is one of those things that are so simple to talk about but a different story when it comes to actually doing it. There will be some difficult days. In that case, it may be difficult to be optimistic. Remember, you must be cheerful while dating. These are burdens that you carry with you. But, while you're out dating, it's crucial to get this off of your mind.

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As people say, you must dress for success. Many singles may not know that this works for dating as well as for business deals. Even if they are fashionable, rumpled clothing will never impress.  Once you cross forty, your dressing sense should convey your interest in dating.

What Deep Rooted Fears Are Keeping You Single?

It is very difficult to sit with a group of your friends and hear their stories and experiences that are taking place in their relationships - especially if you’re on your own. It will make you look at your life and wonder just how it is that you’re still single while all of your friends your age are married or at least in serious relationships. You start to feel down, depressed, frustrated and wonder if you’ll ever have what they do.

Have you ever thought that this could be something that you’ve brought on yourself? There are actually fears that can keep you single and you may not even know that you have them.  You may be afraid that you will be single forever. This is something that many single people fear whether they admit it or not. It usually happens when you’ve had a few, or more than a few, unpleasant or seriously awful relationships, especially in a row. Somewhere in the back of your mind you’re thinking that you may NEVER have that just right relationship. This can really worry you if it’s later in your life than you thought you’d be single. Men can tell when a woman is desperate and scared to be on her own. Sensing this can change the way a man feels toward you. So, you see, holding onto this fear that you’ll never meet the Mr. Right may very well push him away when he DOES show up.

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Another fear that can keep you single is the fear of losing your man. Most people are on their best behavior when they first meet. However, there are some guys that act creepy right out of the gate by assuming too much about where your relationship is going. They may even start getting possessive and/or controlling. Women that exhibit this same type of behavior with men after only a few dates will scare those men away. So when you start worrying about losing the guy before you ever really connect with him, it can make you act in ways that, while totally uncharacteristic of you, can cause the end of this relationship before it even starts. 

One of the top fears that might keep you single forever is that he will turn out to be just like your ex. This is pretty easy to understand. If your last relationship ended badly, you need to take enough time to get emotionally under control again. When you give it enough time, then your next man will get a fair chance without you comparing him to your ex. Breaking the emotional ties to your past, and the fear associated with it, helps you move away from the past without taking any old problems or patterns into the new relationship you’re trying to get off the ground. Be very honest about whether or not you have these fears. Only by admitting to them can you start getting rid of them.

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How To Prepare For A Great Relationship

Love - to love and be loved - is one of the greatest joys of the human life experience. Unfortunately, it can also go very wrong. You could end up abused, neglected, and miserable - or worse.

It's important to make wise choices in your relationships so your experiences with love can bring joy and fulfillment to your life.

Letting your heart rule your head is romantic, but you can keep yourself safe, both emotionally and physically, by making sure your head is at least involved in the decision making. When it comes to romantic partners, spotting any red flags that appear will help you have only healthy, strong relationships.

Another important consideration is your personal desire for a relationship. What, specifically, are you searching for? Are you doing the right things and going to the places that will attract someone who's a good fit for you? Or are you just looking for anyone?

Finding the Right Person Through Understanding Yourself

When you're looking for Mr or Ms Right, there are techniques you can use that will contribute to your success in finding who you're looking for. The first thing you should do is to ensure you're ready for the kind of relationship you're looking for.

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Here are some ways to prepare for a great relationship:

1. Be comfortable with being alone. Are you content with being on your own? Any romantic relationship you enter into should be because you care about that person and yourself. If it's only to avoid being lonely, it's probably not the best choice for you.

2. Know what you want out of life. When looking for a person to share your life with, you want one who shares your goals, dreams, and values. Avoid settling for less because your long-term happiness could be affected - and so could the happiness of your partner.

3. Stay focused on your goals. Giving up your dreams and desires for someone else seldom works well. Seek out a person who encourages you to pursue your dreams. When you've found one, that's someone worth paying attention to!

4. Remember it's not a race. Choosing someone just so you aren't alone is unfair to both of you. The person you're looking for will appear when the time is right. Avoid trying to force it. Your time will come, when you least expect it! As hard as it may be, try to be patient.

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Do You Believe In True Love When Embarking on Mature Dating?

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Are you cynical when it comes to finding a love that lasts? Do you think that you will never find a love and that your soul mate does not even exist? Does your cynical attitude permeate every area of your life? Do you believe that you can have true love and exist in a mature dating relationship?  Love does indeed exist, even if you do not believe that it does. Many people do experience that love and if you are too cynical to think that true love can exist for you, just take a step back and try to put aside your cynicism and be open minded to see if true love could really exist for you. So many times people find true love when they are not even looking for it. Sometimes when you are looking too hard for something, you miss what you are actually looking for.

What is the best dating method towards having success in your mature dating journey as you are on the road to finding out if love really does exist? For starters you need to have an open mind and listen to others who have experienced those lasting relationships. Not only is true love possible, but it is real; however, if you want to experience that love in your mature dating relationships and then in those long-term commitment relationships, you need to realize that true love does require hard work to maintain that spark and keep the chemistry going.  True love is possible if you are open to find it. How can you find this person? You start by not looking too hard to find that love. You first need to change your perspective to start to entertain the idea that true love can and does exist. If you want to find a love in a mature dating relationship, you need to figure out why you are so cynical. Have you always been cynical? Did something happen in your past, such as your parents getting divorced or a broken relationship that you had,which caused you to become cynical.  Maybe you weren't always cynical, but your past experience created that cynicism. How can you overcome this cynicism and move forward towards finding out the truth.

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One way that you may start to believe that love exists is to actually experience that mature dating relationship. Until you actually experience that relationship, you may not believe in love; however, you need to take a step of faith and try to get more information on whether or not love does exist.  In your circle of friends and family, there must be some couple that you know who has found that true love and has a great and loving relationship. If you do know some couple with such a love, whether in a mature dating or long-term relationship, talk to this couple. Find out how they met and if the spark that was there in the beginning still exists? Ask this couple how they have kept their mature dating and mature long-term relationship going. True love does exist and hopefully you will find a love sometime in the near future.

Are You Giving Your Partner Enough "Breathing Space" ?

Does your partner have breathing room in your dating relationship?  It is incredibly important for the person you are dating not to feel stifled, and the ability to retain their individuality.  So what is breathing room, anyway? When you and your partner give each other the necessary space to have some alone time, you have breathing room. When you don't pressure your partner to change and allow for differences between the two of you. If you start to lose yourself and begin to change to what your partner expects you to be, you are not functioning in a mature dating relationship and you are doing a disservice to yourself and to your partner.

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It's not fair for your partner to expect you to change to what he or she wants you to be. If you are involved in that type of a relationship, you should exit it immediately. You are worthy of more respect than your current partner is giving you. True love is unconditional and it means that we accept each other just as we are, imperfections and all.
An example of giving too much space is to allow your partner to have a lot of friends of the opposite sex and your partner starts to spend more time with them than with you. In order to be involved in a mature dating relationship, you need to set some boundaries and speak honestly with your partner about this and how it is making you feel. Possibly your partner has always had a lot of friends of the opposite sex and this seems normal to him or her. However, it is possible that you could start feeling threatened that your partner will start to feel more than platonic feelings for one or more of these friends. If these feelings are valid then you need to express them in a constructive way, while giving him or her some understanding of the background that has caused him or her to have a lot of friends of the opposite sex.
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Does this mean that you should live with the fact that your partner has so much freedom and breathing room that he or she walks all over you? Of course not. You need to find that delicate balance between giving each other breathing room and stating the boundaries that you are willing to live with. For example, if you partner wants to hang out with his or her friends, should you stop this from happening? If you try to stop it, then they will either do it without your blessing or he or she will abide by your wishes and eventually grow bitter with you for not allowing this to happen. Socializing is actually a good thing; it allows you and your partner to experience that precious space that is healthy for your relationship.  It's all about expressing your honest feelings about the issues that affect your relationship and working together to find the balance between space and having boundaries and living within a mature dating relationship.

Top 5 Reasons Independence is Important in Your Relationship

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Living in a close relationship with your special someone is invigorating, exciting and fun.  In reality, a healthy relationship is made up of two mentally strong people. They each lead independent lives and have the desire and ability share their lives as well.

These are a few of the reasons why this balance of separateness and togetherness is important:

1. Independence makes the relationship more intellectually stimulating. If each party brings his or her individual interests to the table, they'll have some fascinating and different subjects to talk about with one another. 

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2. You can depend on your partner for support when you need it. If each partner is independent, each one is comfortable depending on the other when the going gets tough or when life gets hectic. A relationship is, in essence, a partnership. Knowing you can count on the other person is wonderfully supportive.

• Having confidence that your partner can "be okay" without you while you're at work or otherwise engaged relieves you of having to worry about how your partner will manage in challenging situations.
• Relationships do have an ebb and flow that requires that one partner lean on the other occasionally.

3. Two independent people in a relationship can mean a more balanced relationship. When you're both independent, the relationship is healthier. Nobody is exclusively relegated to a specific role.

• When balance isn't present, one partner might take the role of "the strong one" in the relationship while the other partner is consequently "the weak one." Equilibrium in the relationship means no one partner is more or less powerful than the other.

4. Your relationship becomes stronger. When two independent people make a decision to have a relationship, their time with each other is more special and sacred. Even though a sense of independence is important for each partner, being willing to share with the other what you love to do is a great way to spend quality time together.

• Bringing independence to your relationship promises a deeper, more lasting partnership, since it's built on acceptance of each other as a whole human being.

5. A sense of independence makes you more emotionally secure. This works for and benefits both partners.

• If a partner is emotionally secure, they're not afraid to show their strength and their softer side at the same time.
• Each person's sense of independence can help facilitate more openness and honesty in the partnership. No matter what you say or do, you know that your mate will ultimately be okay, since their independence already shows that they're able to take care of themselves.
• When you come together at the end of the day, maybe one is tired or bored. The other can step in and revive the other or bring some ideas to the table.
• Neither partner will feel threatened by their mate's autonomy and sense of personal strength and emotional security.

Partners in a relationship will enjoy a much deeper, longer lasting connection when they each have a sense of independence. Bringing up different interests for discussion, feeling like you can depend on the other and having a balanced relationship all stem from both parties having their own sense of autonomy.