Friday, 5 December 2014

Recovering From Infidelity


Recovering from infidelity is never going to be easy. Whenever a violation of trust has occurred there is always caution on the part of the victim.  This is completely understandable. There is no definitive way to overcome infidelity, but there are lots of possible solutions. The first decision is whether the couple are going to remain together or not.
Either way, the victim will take a long time to heal. 

Trust is based on belief, and ones beliefs are the bedrock of how we move throughout our lives. Some beliefs are much stronger and important than others. Obviously, in the case of romantic attachments, one believes (usually) that ones partner is completely honest, and trustworthy. Coupled with that, is the belief that their partner is completely faithful. These fundamental beliefs are often the bedrock of a relationship, and consequently carry powerful emotional attachments.
Just as one set of beliefs are smashed, another set of powerful beliefs replace them. These beliefs are now the complete opposite of trust. Almost everything is viewed with suspicion, and as the impact of the event sinks in, the anger begins to unfold.
Anger is usually high on the scale of emotions when you are recovering from infidelity, alongside humiliation, anxiety, depression, and confusion, and these are the emotions that will need to be assuaged. 

As you are recovering from infidelity it may seem that there is very little improvement because the changes are small and almost undetectable. However, with the right guidance and with determined effort and support it is possible to start recovering.  None the less, it will be a process that may well take considerable time. Recovering from infidelity is much like recovering from a bereavement. 

Usually, when a couple decide to stay together they take decisive steps to change what had brought about the betrayal. This usually involves a process of absolute honesty in stating what the needs of each partner are. Once the needs of each partner are known, the process of recovering from infidelity may begin.


Conversely, if the couple decide to break up, there is still much work needed to recover from the impact of the event. In some cases it may still be necessary to see a counsellor or use some of the other aids available, and would probably be wise to do so.  It can take a long time recovering from post traumatic shock, and it should never be treated lightly. If the issues aren't worked through carefully then it may impact upon a person for more years than necessary, and indeed some people never recover at all it they don't seek some kind of help.

Monday, 1 December 2014

How To Detect If Your Partner Is Cheating On You

When you have the haunting feeling that your partner is cheating on you, that is the only thing that you can think about. You don’t want your greatest fear to come true but you worry that it may. The suspense is tearing you apart. You can’t even look at your spouse in the same way until you know the truth and you know that they aren’t going to come out and say it. It’s up to you to get the truth to come out and you have to make this happen now. 

To detect infidelity in your relationship now, you need to learn these 5 signs. It is the only way that you are going to learn the truth. If they aren’t going to be honest with you then you need to take a stand for what is right and what is true. Bust that cheater in the act today. 

1. They are never home. A person who is cheating will avoid the one and only place they feel the most vulnerable – at home with you. If your spouse constantly makes excuses as to why they aren’t home with you or you barely spend any time with them, it is probably because they are trying to hide something from you that they know will escape if they are alone with you. 

2. There is no intimacy. If you and your spouse just aren’t intimate at all any more, then that is a sign that they may be cheating. If things have started to go downhill for a while now, that could have been the reason why they decided to cheat in the first place. They also might not have intimacy with you because they are nervous of being vulnerable and the truth coming out. 

3. They aren’t where they say they are. If your spouse says they are going to be late coming home or out with friends, try to catch them in a lie. Show up to the office or try to call one of their friends saying that your spouse’s phone wasn’t working. If they aren’t where they say they are, then you know you are catching them in a lie and it will all come out soon. 

4. You fight. If your spouse is cheating then they probably blame you for the reason as to why they did it. Therefore, they will have a lot of animosity towards you and it will probably rear it’s ugly head in the most random of situations. If they yell at you or pick on you for the smallest of things, that is a sign that something is going on. 

5. They aren’t “all there”. You know your spouse the best and you know when you look into their eyes if they are looking back at you in the same way. If that spark or love just isn’t there any longer or they seem distracted, then you can tell something is up. 


Instead of guessing what is going on in your relationship, you want to learn the truth and you want to learn it now.