5 Ways To Attract Positive Relationships Into Your Life

 MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

As we travel through our life's journey, many relationships will come into our lives. Some of them will be wonderful and long lasting; others, unfortunately, may be short term or unhappy.

Do you tend to attract more negative relationships than positive? Though we strive to develop good, solid, and happy relationships, it seems we sometimes end up with exactly the opposite. Wouldn't you love to attract more positive relationships? The good news is, you can!

Try some of these simple tips to enjoy more positive relationships in your life:

1. Patience. Wonderful relationships don't occur overnight. They take time to nurture and develop into something that's long lasting. To allow these relationships into your life, you must have the patience to let them grow.

• When you begin a relationship that you perceive as being a positive one, don't rush it. You may be very pleased to see what develops down the road.

2. Believe that you're deserving of it. Be positive and avoid negative feelings or perceptions about yourself. Know that you deserve to have happy, stable relationships in your life.

• If you begin to think negatively, you must turn these negative thoughts around immediately. Clear your mind and regain your self-confidence.
• Remember, positive attracts positive. When you think positive thoughts, you'll be rewarded with positive results.
• You'll ultimately attract positive relationships into your life with the positive energy you're giving off to others. So be a good example of the friend or partner you look to attract!

3. Be true to yourself and others. If you're not true to yourself, whether you believe it or not, others will sense this. Don't try to be something that you're not; this is a negative way of portraying yourself to others.

• As mentioned before, positive attracts positive, but negative attracts negative as well. Show others your true self, including your flaws. They'll appreciate your open and willing heart and be able to form a strong bond with you more easily.
• Be genuine to others and allow them to see your true feelings and personality. Trying too hard to act like someone else could lead to embarrassment for you.

4. Don't take relationships for granted. Remember to always give thanks for the valuable relationships in your life. They may not be as numerous as you'd like, but rather than complaining, be thankful for the ones you have now and have had in the past.

• By professing your gratitude genuinely, you'll have an easier time attracting future positive relationships.

5. Be honest. If you're in a negative relationship right now, that will tend to keep positive relationships from coming into your life. Be honest with yourself and others. Make a conscious decision to either improve that relationship or end it. 

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

FIVE Online Dating Rules

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

1: The Site DOES Matter

The site you choose to join does matter! Each site will potentially have different types of people possessing different relationship goals and it’s important to know this before you sign up for the site. 

2: People DO Misrepresent Themselves

I know it’s difficult to fathom that some people lie but it’s true.  These lies can range in severity from over-exaggerations and twenty year old photographs to flat-out lies about their relationship status (you’d be surprised how many singles really aren’t).  You should approach online dating no differently than you would if a stranger walked up to you in a bar and offered to buy you a drink.  Don’t rush into anything.  A healthy dose of scepticism combined with a balance of expectation and reality will not only help to ensure your safety but will also increase your chance of success!

3: Different Places, Different Paces

It’s important to keep in mind that everyone has different lives outside of dating.  Be patient and understanding that some people don’t check their online dating email every day and you may not receive a reply right away.  I always recommend taking the high road when it comes to communicating online.  If you aren’t receiving responses in the amount of time that you’d expect don’t disregard the contact.  Take it as a sign that they may not be that interested, they simply have a slower pace or that the timing just isn’t right and move on.  You just never know who may come back around when the timing is better, but you’ll never know if you burn those bridges.

4: Perfect on Paper Isn’t Always Perfect

It’s important to understand that it’s ok to not be into someone for reasons that you can’t define.  Chemistry can be something that’s there right away and it can also be something that takes some time to develop.  In either case, if you’re not feeling the spark when you feel you should don’t drag things out.  You deserve a match that deserves you!  As always, a healthy dose of balance between expectation and reality is important.

5: Some People Won’t Respond

Online dating is much more anonymous than meeting people in the real world.  If you were approached by someone in public and they said “hi”, how would it look if you ignored them?  This standard does not apply to online dating.  You should prepare yourself to not hear from potential matches that you reach out to.  Try not to take this personally; it doesn’t mean that you’re undesirable it simply means they are not interested.  I would also advise against highlighting people in this area.  It makes you look like an idiot and will only provide you with temporary vindication.  Besides, you never know how busy someone is, or if your paths will cross in some other way and burning bridges is rarely a good idea.

 MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

Are You Ready For Mature Dating?

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

If you've lost a significant other, then it's time to stand up, brave your heart and continue a course that has long been forgotten: DATING.
Granted, it should be understood that age does not necessarily equate to maturity, but most seniors (hopefully) have come to view ideas and events differently than they viewed them in their 20s or 30s.

Are you ready for mature dating?
According to an online suite 101 article, there are many benefits of age that may naturally be implemented in mature dating.  Opinions to the contrary, this isn't necessary a bad thing.  Many Seniors take time to explore their talents or simply to observe more deeply than perhaps they have ever observed in their lives.
Take time to walk in beautiful gardens or to listen to music as you sit and talk softly.
Some questions that will revel your date's interests and personality:

• What is your most treasured possession and why?
• Which is the last book you read?
• Which is the one job in the world that you would love to do?
• Do you believe a cup is half empty or half full?
• If you could travel through time, what single mistake would you correct in life?

Mature Dating:  less worry over physical appearance!
That's freedom - Take time to love who you are. 

 MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

Life After Divorce - What To Avoid Once You're Single Again

 MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

With the right person, being involved is such a blessing, but being single does not necessarily mean being lonely. Avoid these "singles" habits and you will be on the way to recovering from a divorce or separation and a starting point to getting a life back:

Looking back and living in the past- you can never move forward if you try to hold on to the past, a bitter one at that. It prevents you from seeing the beauty of the possibilities that lie ahead. Hatred /bitterness clouds the psyche and drains the spirit. It is always counterproductive and will never do any good. Let go of the negative and start working on positive energy.

Letting go of taking care of yourself - when we feel low and lost, we tend to neglect our physical appearance, health and fitness. Self confidence 101 starts with feeling good about yourself: don't get me wrong - physical isn't everything nor the main thing, but if we can help our self-esteem by improving what we can in the physical aspect, it will always be a bonus and a start to building your confidence. Get into shape, be active, eat healthfully to make you feel lighter and better. Get a good haircut, dress well to make you feel good, treat yourself to a spa and some pampering.

Neglecting other aspects of your life - It may be hard to concentrate on your family, career or your favorite activities, but to neglect these things will definitely spell disaster. Rather, use the opportunity of being single to concentrate on your kids, career and favorite activities to keep your mind busy and further add to your self-confidence. Just because your personal life is low doesn't mean you should let other parts of your life take a downhill path as well.

Retreating into your own world - while there is always some value in having time alone, doing this for an extended period of time and sulking or wallowing in self-pity and bitterness will only make you feel worse. Use this time to specially bond with your kids, they need you more than ever as they are affected somehow with their parents' divorce. Get out, go with friends to have happy times ( not sulk with equally low friends - keep each others' spirits up!). Indulge in activities that will allow you more social interaction like group sports, dancing or socio-civic activities. For your times alone, reading worthwhile books will help - the Bible can do you wonders to reconnect spiritually. Or indulge in a favorite hobby, one that really gives you fulfillment.  

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
 
Coping with divorce is a long gradual process, but bottom line is always to move forward and strive towards using this negative experience to make one a stronger and better person.

Mature Relationship Advice? Don't Fake It. Ever!

There are few exceptions to this rule and at the moment I can’t even think of any! If you’re faking it in any area of your relationship it’s only a matter of time before it comes back and bites you.
Once you’ve faked it, you’ve painted yourself into a corner with only two options: staying in the corner or walking away and messing up the paint.

 MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

Here’s a really good example of making things hard for yourself by faking it.
Have you ever been with a man you really liked but who you didn’t feel connected to sexually? When you’re with him you just don’t feel the chemistry. So rather than telling him you’re having a problem feeling sexual, you decide to fake sexual pleasure instead. You really like him, but have to pretend he’s a great lover and that you’re sexually satisfied. But there’s a catch, as you continue to see him, you have to pretend to enjoy sex every time.
Now your options are limited. You can’t tell him you have a problem without making him wonder what’s been going on with you all along. So the only other alternative is to keep going on with the sham until you can’t stand it anymore.

There’s relationship advice that will tell you to “fake it till you make it,” but in this case and in many more; it’s like using a band aid to cover up a deeper problem.
There is only so long you can fake it, eventually you’re going to want more from your intimate experience with him but it will very touchy when you ask for it. He will wonder what’s you’ve been feeling and when the idea that you’ve been faking sexual pleasure gets into his head it will hit him hard. It will be a blow to his ego and his manhood. The fact that you’re now being honest with him will be unimportant. He’ll only be able to focus on the fact that you lied, and it will cut him deeply. You’ve taken away from him the opportunity to do better and work on the problem with you. He will begin to question your love and your loyalty.

Relationship Advice you can trust: When a man learns you’ve been dishonest in one area, he’ll begin to doubt you in all areas.
Let’s be honest, you fake it because it’s the easy way out; the path of least resistance. The more you find you can get away with, the more tempted you are to avoid discomfort and make things easier. Rather than have the courage to tell him the truth in the beginning and do something about it, you avoid the truth out of fear.
There are many fears you have to face if you’re going to be honest: fear of being judged, being unkind or being wrong. But none of the those fears is worse then the pain you cause by betraying a man who cares about you.

Be honest in your relationships about who you are and what you need from the beginning. If you have issues about sex, money, or lifestyle address them from the start. If you fake it you’ll end up not only hurting your man, but you will be paying the price of living a lie and in the end not having the relationship you really want.

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

Are You Ready To Recover From Divorce?

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

 Perhaps asking if you are ready to recover from divorce is a rhetorical question but so often what we say isn't really what we are feeling. We think we want to heal after divorce from the heart ache and yet the anger feels as though it's serving a purpose. In fact, anger does serve a purpose in releasing the tension and emotional turmoil that is felt when we aren't living in alignment. It is far healthier to release the anger than to hold it within. It is how we release it that makes all the difference. 

Releasing means letting go, not giving a little away and needing to re-fuel by taking more in. Anger is not something you want to continually feed and expand. This can be done in many ways as well. Unreleased anger can result in illness, disease, lack of sleep, frustration, revenge, over-eating, self-indulgence, excessive drinking, depression and years of unhappiness. No one intentionally sets out to become this way. It is the lack of knowledge, support and desire to change, perhaps combined with learned beliefs that have been a pattern in life that feels comfortable that holds you back from changing and living with true purpose and joy.

There are stages of grief that occur from any significant loss. Going through a divorce is a loss. You are the only one who can make the conscious and deliberate choice as to when you are ready to recover. Your mind may be feeling one way and thinking another. Your ego may be resisting letting go. Your learned beliefs as to whether or not you deserve to be happy could be holding you in resistance. 

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

It will take much longer to heal from divorce and become empowered from the experience if you don't believe you can or should be happy, healthy and have an abundance of everything you want but it is possible.  If you truly want to recover from divorce, enrich your life with complete joy, love, ultimate health and prosperity then make a decision now. Take action and make the commitment that despite set backs you are ready.

Do whatever it takes and get support so you may feel empowered and self confident that you will not allow yourself to waste any more time feeling less than fantastic. Get coaching, counseling, find new supportive friends and start living to your full potential.

Keep Yourself and Your Date Happy - With Friendly Dating

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

Dating is the best way to get to know someone and if you’re single, increase your chances of finding the right relationship and partner. Over the years, the concept of dating has evolved and people now take a date as a casual affair as opposed to a form of courtship as it once was. People can now go out on dates to the movies, mall, restaurant, and bar or just about anywhere without having to be formal toward each other. If you’re already in a relationship, dating more often than not will help strengthen the bond with your partner. As a guy, surprise her by taking her out on unplanned dates to places she likes visiting. For women, you could surprise your man by asking him to take a walk with you but luring him someplace that he has always wanted to visit.

It is important to maintain friendly dating to keep the relationship strong and lively. Couples who take each other for granted will either get bored or eventually decide on parting ways due to lack of spice in their lives. After all, it is human nature to desire for interesting moments in our lives as it helps break the monotony or our mundane daily affairs.
Friendly dating can also be maintained by pre-planning which places you and your partner would like to visit. Laugh, smile, joke and be happy with your partner. That is the best way to have a healthy relationship that will last for a long time to come.
For singles, finding the right partner can be a bit of a challenge. However, with the use of the internet taken for granted in our daily lives, you will always be able to find a date through various dating sites. If it’s friendly dating you’re looking for, you could make it clear to everyone that you’re not yet ready for a serious relationship and would prefer to get to know the person first.
The most important characteristics that you or anyone will generally look for in a date are a strong and interesting personality, a high level of understanding, a good sense of humor combined with a sweet and friendly smile. 

 MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

Words CAN Hurt - Consider What You Say and How

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

What you say to the one you love is important! Negative and hurtful statements can have the power to cut through the very fabric of the bond between two people in love. Words can damage and potentially destroy the foundation of your relationship. Make no mistake about that.
The advice about what you should NEVER say to the one you love comes from the thousands of successfully married couples we have interviewed throughout the world. 

Don’t ever say these five things to your partner: 

1. I told you so! Trust us on this – these four words are rarely ever used in successful marriages. This kind of “comeuppance” has no place in a loving relationship. There is no need to remind your spouse that you were right about something and they were wrong. Talk about wasted criticism.

2. It’s your fault! Sometimes, a financial decision goes bad, one of your children gets in trouble at school, or some household calamity occurs. And know this – things do go bad from time to time in any relationship. Decisions turn out wrong. Stuff happens! But the blame game never works! It alienates. It divides. It most certainly undermines trust and openness in your relationship.

3. In a public setting, saying “I am mad at you about because . . . ” Telling private secrets or criticizing your spouse in public or to someone else can do permanent damage to the trust in your relationship. True or not – it doesn’t matter. Keep private things private.

4. Why do you always . . . Focusing on your spouse’s weakness rather than building on their strengths will only increase their weakness and diminish their strength. This habit can send a relationship into a downward spiral if weaknesses are pointed out and commented upon. Success does breed success. Stick with the strengths and don’t focus on weakness.

5. Seriously? Talk about a conversation stopper. “Seriously” is an automatic put-down. It assumes that you think your partner is wrong and instantly puts them in their place.
Since saying negative or hurtful things can be damaging to a loving relationship, it is wise to take extra caution before engaging your mouth when these negative thoughts come to your mind.

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

Here are some questions to ask yourself before you speak: 

1. Will my comment hurt? Sometimes we just blurt out things that are hurtful or negative without thinking about their impact. 

2. Am I just mad and do I need to wait before I speak? When you are mad is not a good time to judge whether a statement will have long-lasting negative impact. Just be silent for a moment to determine if you are acting reasonably or if you are too mad to judge the damage you will invoke by your statement. 

3. Is it worth it? There is so much long-term damage that can be caused by negative or hurtful comments that it really has to be a critically important issue to take that type of risk. 

4. Could it be said a different way? Many times a negative or hurtful statement can be said in a positive manner. Often with a bit of time to reflect it will become apparent that there really was no need to make the statement at all.
All too often people forget that one negative or hurtful statement can undo an entire day’s positive actions and words, damaging the very core of the relationship. So, be mindful to choose words that will enhance your relationship each and every day.

Starting Over - Looking for Friendship or Romance?

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

We all come to a point in our lives where we need or want a special someone to share our lives with, but where do we find this person. Where do we look?
Statistically in this day and age 1 out of every 5 relationships begins online. There is a smorgasbord of singles that are all online for the same purpose. This helps narrow down your search, but the question is what online dating site is best for you? This is where the real hunting begins.
First you need to narrow down exactly what it is you are looking for: Friendship, casual dating, romance, or a serious long-term relationship. Once you know what it is you seek you can most likely find a social network or dating site that is specifically for your socializing purpose.
Now that you have narrowed down what you are looking for in a relationship, and the dating sites that are best suited for you, you should join one or more dating sites answering all compatibility questions honestly and accurately. This will help the dating sites search engine find you the types of people you, are most compatible with hence shrinking the gap between you and your new special someone.

Here is where your future is in your hands. You must now make the first move and say hello to those matches to which you find attractive. Even if you are shy, online dating is the perfect way for you to learn how to become a social butterfly. It also gives you the perfect opportunity to really get to know someone before you talk on the phone or meet him or her in person.
So you have now found that perfect someone that you enjoy chatting with and get along amazingly and they want to meet you. First in person dates for online dating experiences should be casual and fun. Try meeting for lunch or an early dinner, somewhere populated and fun that will help take the first date pressure off of both of you. This way if you hit it off and want to spend more time together the night is still young.
Ultimately, where the relationship leads is up to you and what your goals are.  



MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK