Recovering from infidelity is never going to be easy. Whenever a violation of trust has occurred there is always caution on the part of the victim. This is completely understandable. There is no definitive way to overcome infidelity, but there are lots of possible solutions. The first decision is whether the couple are going to remain together or not.
Either way, the victim will take a long time to heal.
Trust is based on belief, and ones beliefs are the bedrock of how we move throughout our lives. Some beliefs are much stronger and important than others. Obviously, in the case of romantic attachments, one believes (usually) that ones partner is completely honest, and trustworthy. Coupled with that, is the belief that their partner is completely faithful. These fundamental beliefs are often the bedrock of a relationship, and consequently carry powerful emotional attachments.
Just as one set of beliefs are smashed, another set of powerful beliefs replace them. These beliefs are now the complete opposite of trust. Almost everything is viewed with suspicion, and as the impact of the event sinks in, the anger begins to unfold.
Anger is usually high on the scale of emotions when you are recovering from infidelity, alongside humiliation, anxiety, depression, and confusion, and these are the emotions that will need to be assuaged.
As you are recovering from infidelity it may seem that there is very little improvement because the changes are small and almost undetectable. However, with the right guidance and with determined effort and support it is possible to start recovering. None the less, it will be a process that may well take considerable time. Recovering from infidelity is much like recovering from a bereavement.
Usually, when a couple decide to stay together they take decisive steps to change what had brought about the betrayal. This usually involves a process of absolute honesty in stating what the needs of each partner are. Once the needs of each partner are known, the process of recovering from infidelity may begin.
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Conversely, if the couple decide to break up, there is still much work needed to recover from the impact of the event. In some cases it may still be necessary to see a counsellor or use some of the other aids available, and would probably be wise to do so. It can take a long time recovering from post traumatic shock, and it should never be treated lightly. If the issues aren't worked through carefully then it may impact upon a person for more years than necessary, and indeed some people never recover at all it they don't seek some kind of help.
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