Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Are You Giving Your Partner Enough "Breathing Space" ?

Does your partner have breathing room in your dating relationship?  It is incredibly important for the person you are dating not to feel stifled, and the ability to retain their individuality.  So what is breathing room, anyway? When you and your partner give each other the necessary space to have some alone time, you have breathing room. When you don't pressure your partner to change and allow for differences between the two of you. If you start to lose yourself and begin to change to what your partner expects you to be, you are not functioning in a mature dating relationship and you are doing a disservice to yourself and to your partner.

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It's not fair for your partner to expect you to change to what he or she wants you to be. If you are involved in that type of a relationship, you should exit it immediately. You are worthy of more respect than your current partner is giving you. True love is unconditional and it means that we accept each other just as we are, imperfections and all.
An example of giving too much space is to allow your partner to have a lot of friends of the opposite sex and your partner starts to spend more time with them than with you. In order to be involved in a mature dating relationship, you need to set some boundaries and speak honestly with your partner about this and how it is making you feel. Possibly your partner has always had a lot of friends of the opposite sex and this seems normal to him or her. However, it is possible that you could start feeling threatened that your partner will start to feel more than platonic feelings for one or more of these friends. If these feelings are valid then you need to express them in a constructive way, while giving him or her some understanding of the background that has caused him or her to have a lot of friends of the opposite sex.
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Does this mean that you should live with the fact that your partner has so much freedom and breathing room that he or she walks all over you? Of course not. You need to find that delicate balance between giving each other breathing room and stating the boundaries that you are willing to live with. For example, if you partner wants to hang out with his or her friends, should you stop this from happening? If you try to stop it, then they will either do it without your blessing or he or she will abide by your wishes and eventually grow bitter with you for not allowing this to happen. Socializing is actually a good thing; it allows you and your partner to experience that precious space that is healthy for your relationship.  It's all about expressing your honest feelings about the issues that affect your relationship and working together to find the balance between space and having boundaries and living within a mature dating relationship.

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

Top 5 Reasons Independence is Important in Your Relationship

Living in a close relationship with your special someone is invigorating, exciting and fun.  In reality, a healthy relationship is made up of two mentally strong people. They each lead independent lives and have the desire and ability share their lives as well.
These are a few of the reasons why this balance of separateness and togetherness is important:
1. Independence makes the relationship more intellectually stimulating. If each party brings his or her individual interests to the table, they'll have some fascinating and different subjects to talk about with one another. 

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2. You can depend on your partner for support when you need it. If each partner is independent, each one is comfortable depending on the other when the going gets tough or when life gets hectic. A relationship is, in essence, a partnership. Knowing you can count on the other person is wonderfully supportive.
  • Having confidence that your partner can "be okay" without you while you're at work or otherwise engaged relieves you of having to worry about how your partner will manage in challenging situations.
  • Relationships do have an ebb and flow that requires that one partner lean on the other occasionally.
3. Two independent people in a relationship can mean a more balanced relationship. When you're both independent, the relationship is healthier. Nobody is exclusively relegated to a specific role.
  • When balance isn't present, one partner might take the role of "the strong one" in the relationship while the other partner is consequently "the weak one." Equilibrium in the relationship means no one partner is more or less powerful than the other.
4. Your relationship becomes stronger. When two independent people make a decision to have a relationship, their time with each other is more special and sacred. Even though a sense of independence is important for each partner, being willing to share with the other what you love to do is a great way to spend quality time together.
  • Bringing independence to your relationship promises a deeper, more lasting partnership, since it's built on acceptance of each other as a whole human being.
5. A sense of independence makes you more emotionally secure. This works for and benefits both partners.
  • If a partner is emotionally secure, they're not afraid to show their strength and their softer side at the same time.
  • Each person's sense of independence can help facilitate more openness and honesty in the partnership. No matter what you say or do, you know that your mate will ultimately be okay, since their independence already shows that they're able to take care of themselves.
  • When you come together at the end of the day, maybe one is tired or bored. The other can step in and revive the other or bring some ideas to the table.
  • Neither partner will feel threatened by their mate's autonomy and sense of personal strength and emotional security.
Partners in a relationship will enjoy a much deeper, longer lasting connection when they each have a sense of independence. Bringing up different interests for discussion, feeling like you can depend on the other and having a balanced relationship all stem from both parties having their own sense of autonomy.