MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
If you've lost a significant other, then it's time to stand up, brave
your heart and continue a course that has long been forgotten: DATING.
Granted, it should be understood that age does not necessarily equate to
maturity, but most seniors (hopefully) have come to view ideas and
events differently than they viewed them in their 20s or 30s.
Are you ready for mature dating?
According to an online suite 101 article, there are many benefits of age
that may naturally be implemented in mature dating. Opinions to the
contrary, this isn't necessary a bad thing. Many Seniors take time to
explore their talents or simply to observe more deeply than perhaps they
have ever observed in their lives.
Take time to walk in beautiful gardens or to listen to music as you sit and talk softly.
Some questions that will revel your date's interests and personality:
- What is your most treasured possession and why?
- Which is the last book you read?
- Which is the one job in the world that you would love to do?
- Do you believe a cup is half empty or half full?
- If you could travel through time, what single mistake would you correct in life?
Mature Dating: less worry over physical appearance!
That's freedom - Take time to love who you are.
MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
With the right person, being involved is such a blessing, but being single does not necessarily mean being lonely. Avoid these "singles" habits and you will be on the way to recovering from a divorce or separation and a starting point to getting a life back:
Looking back and living in the past- you can never move forward if
you try to hold on to the past, a bitter one at that. It prevents you
from seeing the beauty
of the possibilities that lie ahead. Hatred /bitterness clouds the
psyche and drains the spirit. It is always counterproductive and will
never do any good. Let go of the negative and start working on positive
energy.
Letting go of taking care of yourself - when we feel low and lost, we
tend to neglect our physical appearance, health and fitness. Self
confidence 101 starts with feeling good about yourself: don't get me
wrong - physical isn't everything nor the main thing, but if we can help
our self-esteem by
improving what we can in the physical aspect, it will always be a bonus
and a start to building your confidence. Get into shape, be active, eat
healthfully to make you feel lighter and better. Get a good haircut,
dress well to make you feel good, treat yourself to a spa and some
pampering.
Neglecting other aspects of your life - It may be hard to concentrate
on your family, career or your favorite activities, but to neglect
these things will definitely spell disaster. Rather, use the opportunity
of being single to concentrate on your kids, career and favorite
activities to keep your mind busy and further add
to your self-confidence. Just because your personal life is low doesn't
mean you should let other parts of your life take a downhill path as
well.
Retreating into your own world - while there is always some value in
having time alone, doing this for an extended period of time and sulking
or wallowing in self-pity and bitterness will only make you feel worse.
Use this time to specially bond with your kids, they need you more than
ever as they are affected somehow with their parents' divorce. Get out,
go with friends to have happy times ( not sulk with equally low friends
- keep each others' spirits up!). Indulge in activities that will allow
you more social interaction like group sports, dancing or socio-civic
activities. For your times alone, reading worthwhile books
will help - the Bible can do you wonders to reconnect spiritually. Or
indulge in a favorite hobby, one that really gives you fulfillment.
MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
Coping with divorce
is a long gradual process, but bottom line is always to move forward and
strive towards using this negative experience to make one a stronger
and better person.
There are few exceptions to this rule and at the moment I can’t even
think of any! If you’re faking it in any area of your relationship it’s
only a matter of time before it comes back and bites you.
Once you’ve faked it, you’ve painted yourself into a corner with only two options: staying in the corner or walking away and messing up the paint.
MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
Here’s a really good example of making things hard for yourself by faking it.
Have you ever been with a man you really liked but who you didn’t
feel connected to sexually? When you’re with him you just don’t feel the
chemistry. So rather than telling him you’re having a problem feeling
sexual, you decide to fake sexual pleasure instead. You really like him,
but have to pretend he’s a great lover and that you’re sexually
satisfied. But there’s a catch, as you continue to see him, you have to
pretend to enjoy sex every time.
Now your options are limited. You can’t tell him you have a problem
without making him wonder what’s been going on with you all along. So
the only other alternative is to keep going on with the sham until you
can’t stand it anymore.
There’s relationship advice
that will tell you to “fake it till you make it,” but in this case and
in many more; it’s like using a band aid to cover up a deeper problem.
There is only so long you can fake it,
eventually you’re going to want more from your intimate experience with
him but it will very touchy when you ask for it. He will wonder what’s
you’ve been feeling and when the idea that you’ve been faking sexual
pleasure gets into his head it will hit him hard. It will be a blow to
his ego and his manhood. The fact that you’re now being honest with him
will be unimportant. He’ll only be able to focus on the fact that you
lied, and it will cut him deeply. You’ve taken away from him the
opportunity to do better and work on the problem with you. He will begin
to question your love and your loyalty.
Relationship Advice you can trust: When a man learns you’ve been dishonest in one area, he’ll begin to doubt you in all areas.
Let’s be honest, you fake it because it’s the easy way out; the path
of least resistance. The more you find you can get away with, the more
tempted you are to avoid discomfort and make things easier. Rather than
have the courage to tell him the truth in the beginning and do something
about it, you avoid the truth out of fear.
There are many fears you have to face if you’re going to be honest:
fear of being judged, being unkind or being wrong. But none of the those
fears is worse then the pain you cause by betraying a man who cares
about you.
Be honest in your relationships about who you are and what you
need from the beginning. If you have issues about sex, money, or
lifestyle address them from the start. If you fake it you’ll end up not
only hurting your man, but you will be paying the price of living a lie
and in the end not having the relationship you really want.
MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
Perhaps asking if you are ready to recover from divorce is a rhetorical question but so often what we say isn't really what we are feeling. We think we want to heal after divorce
from the heart ache and yet the anger feels as though it's serving a
purpose. In fact, anger does serve a purpose in releasing the tension
and emotional turmoil that is felt when we aren't living in alignment.
It is far healthier to release the anger than to hold it within. It is
how we release it that makes all the difference.
Releasing means letting go, not giving a little away and needing to
re-fuel by taking more in. Anger is not something you want to
continually feed and expand. This can be done in many ways as well.
Unreleased anger can result in illness, disease, lack of sleep,
frustration, revenge, over-eating, self-indulgence, excessive drinking, depression
and years of unhappiness. No one intentionally sets out to become this
way. It is the lack of knowledge, support and desire to change,
perhaps combined with learned beliefs that have been a pattern in life
that feels comfortable that holds you back from changing and living with
true purpose and joy.
There are stages of grief that occur from any significant loss. Going through a divorce
is a loss. You are the only one who can make the conscious and
deliberate choice as to when you are ready to recover. Your mind may be
feeling one way and thinking another. Your ego may be resisting
letting go. Your learned beliefs as to whether or not you deserve to be
happy could be holding you in resistance.
MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
It will take much longer to heal from divorce and become empowered
from the experience if you don't believe you can or should be happy,
healthy and have an abundance of everything you want but it is possible. If you truly want to recover from divorce, enrich your life with complete joy, love, ultimate health and prosperity then make a decision now. Take action and make the commitment that despite set backs you are ready.
Do whatever it takes and get support so you may feel empowered and
self confident that you will not allow yourself to waste any more time
feeling less than fantastic. Get coaching, counseling, find new
supportive friends and start living to your full potential.
MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
Dating is the best way to get to know someone and if you’re single,
increase your chances of finding the right relationship and partner.
Over the years, the concept of dating
has evolved and people now take a date as a casual affair as opposed to
a form of courtship as it once was. People can now go out on dates to
the movies, mall, restaurant, and bar or just about anywhere without
having to be formal toward each other. If you’re already in a
relationship, dating
more often than not will help strengthen the bond with your partner. As
a guy, surprise her by taking her out on unplanned dates to places she
likes visiting. For women, you could surprise your man by asking him to
take a walk with you but luring him someplace that he has always wanted
to visit.
It is important to maintain friendly dating
to keep the relationship strong and lively. Couples who take each other
for granted will either get bored or eventually decide on parting ways
due to lack of spice in their lives. After all, it is human nature to
desire for interesting moments in our lives as it helps break the
monotony or our mundane daily affairs.
Friendly dating
can also be maintained by pre-planning which places you and your partner
would like to visit. Laugh, smile, joke and be happy with your partner.
That is the best way to have a healthy relationship that will last for a
long time to come.
For singles,
finding the right partner can be a bit of a challenge. However, with the
use of the internet taken for granted in our daily lives, you will
always be able to find a date through various dating sites. If it’s
friendly dating you’re looking for, you could make it clear to everyone
that you’re not yet ready for a serious relationship and would prefer to
get to know the person first.
The most important characteristics that you or anyone will generally
look for in a date are a strong and interesting personality, a high
level of understanding, a good sense of humor combined with a sweet and
friendly smile.
MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
What you say to the one you love is important! Negative and hurtful
statements can have the power to cut through the very fabric of the bond
between two people in love. Words can damage and potentially destroy
the foundation of your relationship. Make no mistake about that.
The advice about what you should NEVER say to the one you love comes
from the thousands of successfully married couples we have interviewed
throughout the world.
Don’t ever say these five things to your partner:
1. I told you so! Trust us on this – these four words are rarely ever used in successful marriages.
This kind of “comeuppance” has no place in a loving relationship. There
is no need to remind your spouse that you were right about something
and they were wrong. Talk about wasted criticism.
2. It’s your fault! Sometimes, a financial decision goes bad,
one of your children gets in trouble at school, or some household
calamity occurs. And know this – things do go bad from time to time in
any relationship. Decisions turn out wrong. Stuff happens! But the blame
game never works! It alienates. It divides. It most certainly
undermines trust and openness in your relationship.
3. In a public setting, saying “I am mad at you about because . . . ”
Telling private secrets or criticizing your spouse in public or to
someone else can do permanent damage to the trust in your relationship.
True or not – it doesn’t matter. Keep private things private.
4. Why do you always . . . Focusing on your spouse’s weakness
rather than building on their strengths will only increase their
weakness and diminish their strength. This habit can send a relationship
into a downward spiral if weaknesses are pointed out and commented
upon. Success does breed success. Stick with the strengths and don’t
focus on weakness.
5. Seriously? Talk about a conversation stopper. “Seriously”
is an automatic put-down. It assumes that you think your partner is
wrong and instantly puts them in their place.
Since saying negative or hurtful things can be damaging to a loving
relationship, it is wise to take extra caution before engaging your
mouth when these negative thoughts come to your mind.
MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
Here are some questions to ask yourself before you speak:
1. Will my comment hurt? Sometimes we just blurt out things that are hurtful or negative without thinking about their impact.
2. Am I just mad and do I need to wait before I speak? When
you are mad is not a good time to judge whether a statement will have
long-lasting negative impact. Just be silent for a moment to determine
if you are acting reasonably or if you are too mad to judge the damage
you will invoke by your statement.
3. Is it worth it? There is so much long-term damage that
can be caused by negative or hurtful comments that it really has to be a
critically important issue to take that type of risk.
4. Could it be said a different way? Many times a negative
or hurtful statement can be said in a positive manner. Often with a bit
of time to reflect it will become apparent that there really was no
need to make the statement at all.
All too often people forget that one negative or hurtful statement
can undo an entire day’s positive actions and words, damaging the very
core of the relationship. So, be mindful to choose words that will
enhance your relationship each and every day.
MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
We all come to a point in our lives where we need or want a special
someone to share our lives with, but where do we find this person. Where
do we look?
Statistically in this day and age 1 out of every 5 relationships begins online. There is a smorgasbord of singles that are all online for the same purpose. This helps narrow down your search, but the question is what online dating site is best for you? This is where the real hunting begins.
First you need to narrow down exactly what it is you are looking for: Friendship, casual dating, romance, or a serious long-term relationship. Once you know what it is you seek you can most likely find a social network or dating site that is specifically for your socializing purpose.
Now that you have narrowed down what you are looking for in a
relationship, and the dating sites that are best suited for you, you
should join one or more dating sites answering all compatibility
questions honestly and accurately. This will help the dating sites
search engine find you the types of people you, are most compatible with
hence shrinking the gap between you and your new special someone.
Here is where your future is in your hands. You must now make the first
move and say hello to those matches to which you find attractive. Even
if you are shy, online dating is the perfect way for you to learn how to
become a social butterfly. It also gives you the perfect opportunity to
really get to know someone before you talk on the phone or meet him or
her in person.
So you have now found that perfect someone that you enjoy chatting with
and get along amazingly and they want to meet you. First in person dates
for online dating
experiences should be casual and fun. Try meeting for lunch or an early
dinner, somewhere populated and fun that will help take the first date
pressure off of both of you. This way if you hit it off and want to
spend more time together the night is still young.
Ultimately, where the relationship leads is up to you and what your goals are.
MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
