Life After Divorce - What To Avoid Once You're Single Again

 MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

With the right person, being involved is such a blessing, but being single does not necessarily mean being lonely. Avoid these "singles" habits and you will be on the way to recovering from a divorce or separation and a starting point to getting a life back:

Looking back and living in the past- you can never move forward if you try to hold on to the past, a bitter one at that. It prevents you from seeing the beauty of the possibilities that lie ahead. Hatred /bitterness clouds the psyche and drains the spirit. It is always counterproductive and will never do any good. Let go of the negative and start working on positive energy.

Letting go of taking care of yourself - when we feel low and lost, we tend to neglect our physical appearance, health and fitness. Self confidence 101 starts with feeling good about yourself: don't get me wrong - physical isn't everything nor the main thing, but if we can help our self-esteem by improving what we can in the physical aspect, it will always be a bonus and a start to building your confidence. Get into shape, be active, eat healthfully to make you feel lighter and better. Get a good haircut, dress well to make you feel good, treat yourself to a spa and some pampering.

Neglecting other aspects of your life - It may be hard to concentrate on your family, career or your favorite activities, but to neglect these things will definitely spell disaster. Rather, use the opportunity of being single to concentrate on your kids, career and favorite activities to keep your mind busy and further add to your self-confidence. Just because your personal life is low doesn't mean you should let other parts of your life take a downhill path as well.

Retreating into your own world - while there is always some value in having time alone, doing this for an extended period of time and sulking or wallowing in self-pity and bitterness will only make you feel worse. Use this time to specially bond with your kids, they need you more than ever as they are affected somehow with their parents' divorce. Get out, go with friends to have happy times ( not sulk with equally low friends - keep each others' spirits up!). Indulge in activities that will allow you more social interaction like group sports, dancing or socio-civic activities. For your times alone, reading worthwhile books will help - the Bible can do you wonders to reconnect spiritually. Or indulge in a favorite hobby, one that really gives you fulfillment.  

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
 
Coping with divorce is a long gradual process, but bottom line is always to move forward and strive towards using this negative experience to make one a stronger and better person.