Recovering From Infidelity

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

Recovering from infidelity is never going to be easy. Whenever a violation of trust has occurred there is always caution on the part of the victim.  This is completely understandable. There is no definitive way to overcome infidelity, but there are lots of possible solutions. The first decision is whether the couple are going to remain together or not.
Either way, the victim will take a long time to heal. 

Trust is based on belief, and ones beliefs are the bedrock of how we move throughout our lives. Some beliefs are much stronger and important than others. Obviously, in the case of romantic attachments, one believes (usually) that ones partner is completely honest, and trustworthy. Coupled with that, is the belief that their partner is completely faithful. These fundamental beliefs are often the bedrock of a relationship, and consequently carry powerful emotional attachments.
Just as one set of beliefs are smashed, another set of powerful beliefs replace them. These beliefs are now the complete opposite of trust. Almost everything is viewed with suspicion, and as the impact of the event sinks in, the anger begins to unfold.
Anger is usually high on the scale of emotions when you are recovering from infidelity, alongside humiliation, anxiety, depression, and confusion, and these are the emotions that will need to be assuaged. 

As you are recovering from infidelity it may seem that there is very little improvement because the changes are small and almost undetectable. However, with the right guidance and with determined effort and support it is possible to start recovering.  None the less, it will be a process that may well take considerable time. Recovering from infidelity is much like recovering from a bereavement. 

Usually, when a couple decide to stay together they take decisive steps to change what had brought about the betrayal. This usually involves a process of absolute honesty in stating what the needs of each partner are. Once the needs of each partner are known, the process of recovering from infidelity may begin.

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

Conversely, if the couple decide to break up, there is still much work needed to recover from the impact of the event. In some cases it may still be necessary to see a counsellor or use some of the other aids available, and would probably be wise to do so.  It can take a long time recovering from post traumatic shock, and it should never be treated lightly. If the issues aren't worked through carefully then it may impact upon a person for more years than necessary, and indeed some people never recover at all it they don't seek some kind of help.

How To Detect If Your Partner Is Cheating On You

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK
When you have the haunting feeling that your partner is cheating on you, that is the only thing that you can think about. You don’t want your greatest fear to come true but you worry that it may. The suspense is tearing you apart. You can’t even look at your spouse in the same way until you know the truth and you know that they aren’t going to come out and say it. It’s up to you to get the truth to come out and you have to make this happen now. 

To detect infidelity in your relationship now, you need to learn these 5 signs. It is the only way that you are going to learn the truth. If they aren’t going to be honest with you then you need to take a stand for what is right and what is true. Bust that cheater in the act today. 

1. They are never home. A person who is cheating will avoid the one and only place they feel the most vulnerable – at home with you. If your spouse constantly makes excuses as to why they aren’t home with you or you barely spend any time with them, it is probably because they are trying to hide something from you that they know will escape if they are alone with you. 

2. There is no intimacy. If you and your spouse just aren’t intimate at all any more, then that is a sign that they may be cheating. If things have started to go downhill for a while now, that could have been the reason why they decided to cheat in the first place. They also might not have intimacy with you because they are nervous of being vulnerable and the truth coming out. 

3. They aren’t where they say they are. If your spouse says they are going to be late coming home or out with friends, try to catch them in a lie. Show up to the office or try to call one of their friends saying that your spouse’s phone wasn’t working. If they aren’t where they say they are, then you know you are catching them in a lie and it will all come out soon. 

4. You fight. If your spouse is cheating then they probably blame you for the reason as to why they did it. Therefore, they will have a lot of animosity towards you and it will probably rear it’s ugly head in the most random of situations. If they yell at you or pick on you for the smallest of things, that is a sign that something is going on. 

5. They aren’t “all there”. You know your spouse the best and you know when you look into their eyes if they are looking back at you in the same way. If that spark or love just isn’t there any longer or they seem distracted, then you can tell something is up. 

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

Instead of guessing what is going on in your relationship, you want to learn the truth and you want to learn it now. 

How to Find Love

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK 

Is finding a love on your mind? Have you been disappointed in your search? While it may seem like discovering the type of relationship you long for is beyond your reach, rest assured it’s not impossible.
 
There are many strategies you can use to help you in your quest for that special someone. And once you find that extraordinary person who loves you for who you are, your relationship can carry you forward, together, toward your dreams and complete fulfillment!

Here are a few important tips to help you find the love you seek:

• Know your own needs - When looking for a long-term relationship, the first thing you need to do is clarify your own wants and needs. After all, if you don’t know what you want, how will you recognize it when you find it?

• Know who you are, what you want out of life, and what you absolutely don’t want. Many people go out looking for a relationship with no clue what they really need or want in a companion. When you’re able to figure out your own desires and know who you truly are, then you’re much more likely to find someone who fulfills those desires.

• Be firm with your values - It’s essential to stand up for the values you find important. If your love interest has completely different core values, then you’re not going to be able to build a strong, loving, and lasting relationship.

• You can still have a relationship with someone you disagree with on some issues. However, the foundational values that you hold dear should be shared. This could be your religious or political values, or whatever else is important to you.

Distinguish your goals - What are your goals? Where do you plan to be in five or ten years? A relationship where both partners have very different goals will be difficult.

• It’s important that you find someone with similar goals so you’re both heading in the same direction. You want to come closer together as your relationship grows, not be torn apart by wildly differing goals. For example, discuss important subjects such as children, career aspirations, and family life before jumping into a relationship. You don’t have to get too deep into the topic, just make sure you’re both headed down the same path. As grave differences can tear a couple apart down the road.

Be true to yourself - This is imperative if you want to find the loving relationship your heart longs for. You should never settle for someone just because you want to be in a relationship.

• Don’t allow your desire to have a loving relationship sell you short of what you really deserve.  If you’re not true to yourself, you’ll suffer from it soon and come to regret it later. You may wake up one day and realize you’re not happy with your life, including the person you’re sharing it with.

Finding a loving relationship is possible – don’t let anyone, including yourself, try to tell you otherwise. However, it’s important that you take the time to prepare yourself to attract your soul mate.

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK 

By following these tips, you’re putting yourself in a good position to spark a connection that will last for a lifetime. It might take some time and effort to get to know yourself first, but the results will be worth it.

Are You Ready To Start Dating Again?

Ready To Get Back Out There?          
               
MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK 


Men and women have to redefine themselves after a relationship ends, and reinvent their lives. If they do it well, it can lead to the most satisfying and successful years they've had. Dating successfully after divorce or a breakup require several steps to recover from the breakup.
Understanding what went wrong in the last relationship, so you don't repeat the pattern.
Identifying the kind of partner you're looking for and developing social networks involving these kinds of people.
Some people never date again or don't do so for a long time. People who wait a long time, or never date are trying to avoid repeating old mistakes and having hurt feelings, loss, disappointment and grief. This is akin to not changing anything in your departed partner's closet, because you don't want to face the pain. A better way to do it is to work through the pain, and learn from it as you go. You can figure out what went wrong, what your mistakes were, and how to correct all that and re-think your idea of relationships. This may require the help of a therapist.

Once you've taken the steps needed to recover from a breakup , finding a new love is simple, because you've changed the odds to be in your favor. But there are a few tips to help you as you start dating again.       MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK 

1. Don't have sex right away with your new partner.
Keep in mind that, if you have sex right away, it usually brands the relationship as sex -only and you don't get taken seriously. So, if you want to see if you can manage it, pick someone you're attracted to, but realize there's no relationship there. Also, if you are the type who bonds upon having sex, keep that in mind -- your partner may not be, so make sure there's some bonding there before you try it.

2. Take precautions when you do have sex.
Safer sex, of course. If you're female, don't just worry about pregnancy -- make sure you're informed about disease, as well. Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) can be deadly and devastating, so always provide a condom and insist on using it unless you're both tested and in a committed relationship (with someone you can trust).

3. Deal with the awkwardness of sex with a new partner.
I recommend the zen idea of a beginner's mind: Accept that everything you’re doing now is new to you, and open yourself to learning about it. Wide-eyed wonder at whatever happens is very attractive. I’m not talking about being brainless or thoughtless. On the contrary. A beginner’s mind is alert, observing, and open to new ideas. Your objective is to learn — about what people are doing, who they are, what the possibilities are and how it all fits in to your goals.
Everything you’ve learned about relationships and dating in your past is certainly useful, and you’ll draw on it as we go along, but your general approach to this process is as a beginner -- 'I’m new at this, I want to learn.' Because you are a beginner, you can open lots of conversations by simply asking questions about what’s going on.

 MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK 

Give Love Another Chance, Now That You Are a Little Wiser

If you've lost a significant other, then it's time to stand up, brave your heart and continue a course that has long been forgotten: DATING.
Granted, it should be understood that age does not necessarily equate to maturity, but most seniors (hopefully) have come to view ideas and events differently than they viewed them in their 20s or 30s.

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

Are you ready for mature dating?
According to an online suite 101 article, there are many benefits of age that may naturally be implemented in mature dating.  Opinions to the contrary, this isn't necessary a bad thing.  Many Seniors take time to explore their talents or simply to observe more deeply than perhaps they have ever observed in their lives.
Take time to walk in beautiful gardens or to listen to music as you sit and talk softly.

Some questions that will revel your date's interests and personality:

• What is your most treasured possession and why?
• Which is the last book you read?
• Which is the one job in the world that you would love to do?
• Do you believe a cup is half empty or half full?
• If you could travel through time, what single mistake would you correct in life?

 MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

Mature Dating:  less worry over physical appearance!
That's freedom - Take time to love who you are.

What Deep Rooted Fears Are Keeping You Single?

 It is very difficult to sit with a group of your friends and hear their stories and experiences that are taking place in their relationships - especially if you’re on your own. It will make you look at your life and wonder just how it is that you’re still single while all of your friends your age are married or at least in serious relationships. You start to feel down, depressed, frustrated and wonder if you’ll ever have what they do.

Have you ever thought that this could be something that you’ve brought on yourself? There are actually fears that can keep you single and you may not even know that you have them.

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

You may be afraid that you will be single forever. This is something that many single people fear whether they admit it or not. It usually happens when you’ve had a few, or more than a few, unpleasant or seriously awful relationships, especially in a row. Somewhere in the back of your mind you’re thinking that you may NEVER have that just right relationship. This can really worry you if it’s later in your life than you thought you’d be single. Men can tell when a woman is desperate and scared to be on her own. Sensing this can change the way a man feels toward you. So, you see, holding onto this fear that you’ll never meet the Mr. Right may very well push him away when he DOES show up.

Another fear that can keep you single is the fear of losing your man. Most people are on their best behavior when they first meet. However, there are some guys that act creepy right out of the gate by assuming too much about where your relationship is going. They may even start getting possessive and/or controlling. Women that exhibit this same type of behavior with men after only a few dates will scare those men away. So when you start worrying about losing the guy before you ever really connect with him, it can make you act in ways that, while totally uncharacteristic of you, can cause the end of this relationship before it even starts. 

MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

One of the top fears that might keep you single forever is that he will turn out to be just like your ex. This is pretty easy to understand. If your last relationship ended badly, you need to take enough time to get emotionally under control again. When you give it enough time, then your next man will get a fair chance without you comparing him to your ex. Breaking the emotional ties to your past, and the fear associated with it, helps you move away from the past without taking any old problems or patterns into the new relationship you’re trying to get off the ground.

Be very honest about whether or not you have these fears. Only by admitting to them can you start getting rid of them. 

5 Ways To Attract Positive Relationships Into Your Life

As we travel through our life's journey, many relationships will come into our lives. Some of them will be wonderful and long lasting; others, unfortunately, may be short term or unhappy.

Do you tend to attract more negative relationships than positive? Though we strive to develop good, solid, and happy relationships, it seems we sometimes end up with exactly the opposite. Wouldn't you love to attract more positive relationships? The good news is, you can!

Try some of these simple tips to enjoy more positive relationships in your life:

1. Patience. Wonderful relationships don't occur overnight. They take time to nurture and develop into something that's long lasting. To allow these relationships into your life, you must have the patience to let them grow.

• When you begin a relationship that you perceive as being a positive one, don't rush it. You may be very pleased to see what develops down the road.

  MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

2. Believe that you're deserving of it. Be positive and avoid negative feelings or perceptions about yourself. Know that you deserve to have happy, stable relationships in your life.

• If you begin to think negatively, you must turn these negative thoughts around immediately. Clear your mind and regain your self-confidence.
• Remember, positive attracts positive. When you think positive thoughts, you'll be rewarded with positive results.
• You'll ultimately attract positive relationships into your life with the positive energy you're giving off to others. So be a good example of the friend or partner you look to attract!

 MATURE DATING OVER 40 - UK

3. Be true to yourself and others. If you're not true to yourself, whether you believe it or not, others will sense this. Don't try to be something that you're not; this is a negative way of portraying yourself to others.

• As mentioned before, positive attracts positive, but negative attracts negative as well. Show others your true self, including your flaws. They'll appreciate your open and willing heart and be able to form a strong bond with you more easily.
• Be genuine to others and allow them to see your true feelings and personality. Trying too hard to act like someone else could lead to embarrassment for you.

4. Don't take relationships for granted. Remember to always give thanks for the valuable relationships in your life. They may not be as numerous as you'd like, but rather than complaining, be thankful for the ones you have now and have had in the past.

• By professing your gratitude genuinely, you'll have an easier time attracting future positive relationships.

5. Be honest. If you're in a negative relationship right now, that will tend to keep positive relationships from coming into your life. Be honest with yourself and others. Make a conscious decision to either improve that relationship or end it.