Tuesday, 14 July 2015

Mature Relationship Advice? Don't Fake It. Ever!

There are few exceptions to this rule and at the moment I can’t even think of any! If you’re faking it in any area of your relationship it’s only a matter of time before it comes back and bites you.
Once you’ve faked it, you’ve painted yourself into a corner with only two options: staying in the corner or walking away and messing up the paint.


Here’s a really good example of making things hard for yourself by faking it.
Have you ever been with a man you really liked but who you didn’t feel connected to sexually? When you’re with him you just don’t feel the chemistry. So rather than telling him you’re having a problem feeling sexual, you decide to fake sexual pleasure instead. You really like him, but have to pretend he’s a great lover and that you’re sexually satisfied. But there’s a catch, as you continue to see him, you have to pretend to enjoy sex every time.
Now your options are limited. You can’t tell him you have a problem without making him wonder what’s been going on with you all along. So the only other alternative is to keep going on with the sham until you can’t stand it anymore.

There’s relationship advice that will tell you to “fake it till you make it,” but in this case and in many more; it’s like using a band aid to cover up a deeper problem.
There is only so long you can fake it, eventually you’re going to want more from your intimate experience with him but it will very touchy when you ask for it. He will wonder what’s you’ve been feeling and when the idea that you’ve been faking sexual pleasure gets into his head it will hit him hard. It will be a blow to his ego and his manhood. The fact that you’re now being honest with him will be unimportant. He’ll only be able to focus on the fact that you lied, and it will cut him deeply. You’ve taken away from him the opportunity to do better and work on the problem with you. He will begin to question your love and your loyalty.

Relationship Advice you can trust: When a man learns you’ve been dishonest in one area, he’ll begin to doubt you in all areas.
Let’s be honest, you fake it because it’s the easy way out; the path of least resistance. The more you find you can get away with, the more tempted you are to avoid discomfort and make things easier. Rather than have the courage to tell him the truth in the beginning and do something about it, you avoid the truth out of fear.
There are many fears you have to face if you’re going to be honest: fear of being judged, being unkind or being wrong. But none of the those fears is worse then the pain you cause by betraying a man who cares about you.

Be honest in your relationships about who you are and what you need from the beginning. If you have issues about sex, money, or lifestyle address them from the start. If you fake it you’ll end up not only hurting your man, but you will be paying the price of living a lie and in the end not having the relationship you really want.


Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Are You Ready To Recover From Divorce?


 Perhaps asking if you are ready to recover from divorce is a rhetorical question but so often what we say isn't really what we are feeling. We think we want to heal after divorce from the heart ache and yet the anger feels as though it's serving a purpose. In fact, anger does serve a purpose in releasing the tension and emotional turmoil that is felt when we aren't living in alignment. It is far healthier to release the anger than to hold it within. It is how we release it that makes all the difference. 

Releasing means letting go, not giving a little away and needing to re-fuel by taking more in. Anger is not something you want to continually feed and expand. This can be done in many ways as well. Unreleased anger can result in illness, disease, lack of sleep, frustration, revenge, over-eating, self-indulgence, excessive drinking, depression and years of unhappiness. No one intentionally sets out to become this way. It is the lack of knowledge, support and desire to change, perhaps combined with learned beliefs that have been a pattern in life that feels comfortable that holds you back from changing and living with true purpose and joy.

There are stages of grief that occur from any significant loss. Going through a divorce is a loss. You are the only one who can make the conscious and deliberate choice as to when you are ready to recover. Your mind may be feeling one way and thinking another. Your ego may be resisting letting go. Your learned beliefs as to whether or not you deserve to be happy could be holding you in resistance. 


It will take much longer to heal from divorce and become empowered from the experience if you don't believe you can or should be happy, healthy and have an abundance of everything you want but it is possible.  If you truly want to recover from divorce, enrich your life with complete joy, love, ultimate health and prosperity then make a decision now. Take action and make the commitment that despite set backs you are ready.

Do whatever it takes and get support so you may feel empowered and self confident that you will not allow yourself to waste any more time feeling less than fantastic. Get coaching, counseling, find new supportive friends and start living to your full potential.