Wednesday, 7 December 2016

Trying To Remain "Friends" With Your Ex?


Holding on to a failed relationship in the guise that you want him as a friend is in no way a wrong thing to do but the fact that you know it cannot be salvaged and you still hold on to a man who probably has moved on is an injustice to yourself and your love life. Every woman hopes to meet a man who would understand her, appreciate her, love and care for her for the rest of her life but this is not always the case. For one reason or another, you have had a relationship breakdown and the only option was for the both of you to go your separate ways. But out of hope on a possible reconciliation and a makeup, you chose to remain friends with your ex and have him hang around. There’s a danger in this and most women are not even aware of what danger this possess to them.

Having an ex or a past fling hanging around, hoping things could get back to how they were is not entirely a bad idea, after all there is a possibility that you could get back together and work out your differences. But, sometimes, it would not work out like this. Rather than looking up ahead and forging a better life for yourself, you’d still hang on to what is left with this guy, hoping on an ever fading hope of reconciliation. While you are at it, you may be missing your opportunity of meeting a better guy- your Mr. Right. Because you still have this person around, your chance of meeting your Mr. Right becomes diminished. 
You need to understand that obviously your ex may not be coming back and no matter the strategies you use, it is over between the both of you completely. You have to let him go and give other people a chance. Yes, you may have truly loved your ex, you gave your soul, body and heart to him and because of the deep affection you had for him, you have found it difficult to let go. It is time to start breaking off those bonds otherwise you would be stuck with loving someone who would never be with you.

Past flings and Ex’s should be confined to a phase of your life –in the past. You need to get back to living your life and enjoying it. Get out and do things that would clear your mind off these people. Start chasing your career if you weren’t and if you were, it’s time to take it to the next level. Spend time at the gym, Engage in community service, visit the poor and orphaned and give them support. Get busy doing things that would distract your mind from the thoughts of these failed relationships. It is even when you are doing these that your Mr. Right would come around.

Bear in mind that Mr. Right is not going to be Mr. Perfect. You need to be cautious so you don’t repeat the mistakes of your previous relationships. You know the things you did wrong then or tolerated from your ex then. You wouldn’t want a repeat this time. So set boundaries so you both know what you want out of the relationship. Now that you have a better experience, you are better suited to handle your love life.


Saturday, 6 August 2016

How NOT to Ruin Your Lovelife When Mature Dating


There’s nothing wrong with being single, or having a non-traditional relationship. No matter what your love life status, here are some love life tips you can use year-round to make the most of it.
1) Accept how your love life is right now. This isn’t easy, so you’ll have to repeatedly remind yourself, especially when it seems like your circumstances couldn’t get worse. Once you accept being single or your relationship as it is, it will be easier to cherish the good things about your situation, and sometimes that will encourage change for the better.

2) Accept that you don’t need someone else to make you happy. You are all you need, believe it or not. Once you understand this, a relationship becomes an added bonus rather than a narcotic drug you can’t live without. Love addicts experience the crash and yearning for more far more often than the high. 

3) Learn to not care about what other people think about your love life. It’s really none of their business. Do what makes you happy, even if it’s not the norm. If you don’t, you’ll have regrets at the end of your life. 

4) Don’t fall for the “one and only soul mate” lie. Some love life experts claim to have the key to finding “the one,” “your twin soul,” and other fanciful love life goals. We’ve found through our years of empirical research that everyone has many soul mates, and most of them are not meant to result in a life-long, blissful relationship. 

5) Don’t fall for the “together forever” fantasy. Sure, it’s possible, and in rare cases couples do grow old together without great suffering and sacrifices that make them die inside. 
Unfortunately, most couples who commit at a very young age find that they’re not compatible enough for a traditional relationship after five, ten, or twenty years. Couples in prior generations had to remain together due to sociological and economical reasons. Today, singles and couples have more options, and that’s a good thing. The length of a relationship isn’t important; what you learn and the love you give is. 

6) Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t have an ideal relationship, the type of love life that some celebrities seem to have as described in the media. Like an airbrushed photo, what they present to the world and the reality might be two different things. In fact, in some cases, you might be shocked to know the truth about the relationship. 

7) Consider karma and fate. Even if you use your free will to do all you can to improve your love life, and you should, things won’t always go as you hope due to the ever-present laws of karma and fate. This doesn’t mean you’re being punished, but it might mean that you’re going through a learning phase now for a more wonderful love experience later. 

8) Lighten up and relax! It’s so easy to get caught up in your routine and be stressed out from the responsibilities of life. But if you don’t take “me time” to relax, rejuvenate, and become centered, whether it’s through meditation or other ways, it’s more difficult to present your best, beautiful self to your partner or a new potential love interest.


Mature Dating - Perfect Your Online Dating Profile

Online Dating can be a very rewarding experience, but also at times an extremely daunting one. No matter how confident or professionally successfully you are, signing up to a dating site is a scary prospect. Perhaps one of the biggest worries is how to portray yourself effectively in so few lines?

Your online dating profile can be as important as a photo in attracting perspective dates, but how do you sum yourself up accurately and impressively in so few words? Luckily following these few simple tips can make this process a lot easier for you and make your dating experience a whole lot more successful.

Mature Online Dating - UK
Mature Online Dating - South Africa

  1. Be Positive! It is essential to be positive in your approach to online dating and in how you represent yourself. Negativity is a turn off, so in your profile talk about things you love not hate, and how excited you are to be joining a online dating  service, not how nervous or apprehensive you maybe.
  2. Be Unique! There will be thousands of profiles out there; many will be very similar and typical. Make yours stand out from the crowd, don't worry about putting the odd person off, you'll attract much more interest through your individuality and uniqueness.
  3. Use Examples – When describing yourself, don't just say that you like films, say what films you like. If you like reading, what books do you like? If you describe yourself as funny, be funny in your online dating profile, don't just claim it.
  4. Honesty – There may be a big temptation to embroider the truth or even just make things up. You don't need to, you are interesting and exiting enough as you are. Plus if a relationship does happen then these lies may be hard to cover up and come back to bite you.
  5. Photo – Photos are integral to dating websites, despite other temptations you should pick a good, but honest and fairly recent photo of yourself, doing otherwise will just cause complications later. Let the photo show the kind of person you are, if your sporty why not use a picture of you playing a sport?
  6. Relax – One of the biggest advantages of online dating sites is that there is little pressure. Unlike meeting face to face you don't need to be quick witted or confident to impress. You can take your time in producing an impressive profile that says everything you want about yourself, you can make your perfect first impression.

The online dating world is an exciting one, with a lot of opportunities and if you  follow these tips you should be well on the way to many successful dates.

Give Love Another Chance, Now That You Are a Little Wiser

If you've lost a significant other, then it's time to stand up, brave your heart and continue a course that has long been forgotten: DATING.
Granted, it should be understood that age does not necessarily equate to maturity, but most seniors (hopefully) have come to view ideas and events differently than they viewed them in their 20s or 30s.


Are you ready for mature dating?
According to an online suite 101 article, there are many benefits of age that may naturally be implemented in mature dating.  Opinions to the contrary, this isn't necessary a bad thing.  Many Seniors take time to explore their talents or simply to observe more deeply than perhaps they have ever observed in their lives.
Take time to walk in beautiful gardens or to listen to music as you sit and talk softly.

Some questions that will revel your date's interests and personality:

  • What is your most treasured possession and why?
  • Which is the last book you read?
  • Which is the one job in the world that you would love to do?
  • Do you believe a cup is half empty or half full?
  • If you could travel through time, what single mistake would you correct in life?

Mature Dating:  less worry over physical appearance!
That's freedom - Take time to love who you are.

Monday, 1 August 2016

Men Over 40 - Build Your Confidence and Start Dating Again


It seems that some people are born with confidence, while others struggle with even the quickest interactions with strangers. Some people had confidence at one point in their lives and then lost it, but there is no reason to let low self-confidence get you down, as there are plenty of ways to rebuild your confidence.

Work On Your Appearance
Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to be in the shape of a bodybuilder or have the face of a movie star in order to get pretty women. Regardless of what you look like, there is someone out there who will find you incredibly attractive. However, many people who wonder how to build confidence are having a difficult time talking to others because they do not feel good about themselves.
With that said, one of the first steps in your mission to build confidence is to work on your appearance. You should not do this for women; you should do it for yourself! If you feel self-conscious about your weight, try dieting or exercising to shed a couple of pounds. You don't have to lose a lot of weight, even a few pounds will make you instantly feel better about yourself. If your clothing makes you feel like a slob, try going out and buying a couple of new outfits. They do not have to be expensive or fancy, just something that makes you feel good about yourself. If you feel good about your appearance, you will feel more confident when you are talking to others.

Try Talking to Strangers
The next step in building confidence is making conversation with complete strangers. You shouldn't start with women that you are interested in -- instead, start with a friendly guy at a restaurant or an older lady at a gas station. Talking to these people, even briefly, will show you that people aren't going to bite your head off just because you start a conversation with them. In fact, you might make a few friends along the way, and you are bound to at least enjoy a couple of fascinating conversations with others.

Start Small With Women
If the idea of talking to a beautiful woman makes your tongue automatically twist into a knot, you should start out small. A simple "hi, how are you?" is usually sufficient. It is rare that the girl will ignore you and if she does, she probably isn't a girl that you really want to talk to anyway. You will slowly start to see that these women will typically start a short conversation with you, which will instantly help to boost your confidence.

Give Non-Threatening Women a Chance
If talking to the really beautiful women that you see is still intimidating, you can start by talking to a few girls that you see that are a bit more normal-looking. You will not be as intimidated to approach a girl who is average-looking, but you will still learn just how easy it really is to initiate a conversation with a girl. Not to mention, you might find that that average girl is actually incredibly interesting, and you could meet the perfect match during this stage.


Don't Let Setbacks Let You Down
When going through the how to build confidence steps, you will inevitably meet a few rude people. These people may say something rude to you, or they may ignore you completely. Being shot down in this manner can cause plenty of guys with self-confidence issues to clam back up, but don't let this happen to you. It is inevitable that there are rude people in this world, but these people are probably not people that you want to make friends with anyway. Don't let it get you down, and don't hold it against others -- there are still plenty of beautiful, exciting and friendly people in this world for you to talk to.

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

The Art of Mature Dating


Are you afraid of getting older and still having no partner in your life? Well, you need not worry much. Today, age is not a factor for anybody. You can also start dating just like other young people around you. Life has changed a lot for everybody all over the world, so does the definition of dating and relationship. Companionship has no age limit; you can start off anytime you want. 

It may happen when you were so busy in you life that you never realized that you are missing out many thing. But now, with the help of so many professionals and trusted online dating sites, anyone can find their life partners easily now.  As youngsters, we feel awkward when we go out for date. We bother so much about what to wear, how to appear and how to talk to the person. But with matured age, we started talking about everything at ease. Now we know what we are, what we have to talk about and how to understand the person sitting next to us. 

Romance has various colors, and it never ends with matured age. In fact, the more matured we get the more colors we start experiencing. We now understand the need of our lives, the vibes of each other. Here, we face lesser trauma and things like infatuation.  Mature dating can be very helpful to choose the right one for our life. Youngsters sometimes fail to choose the right one and they think that relationships will never going to work out for them.

Matured age comes up with many things. You now have financial security and background which can give you confidence. You have come across a lot of people and you surely know how to start off a conversation. What you two can converse about, how to ask questions and to know about the person's life, background and past if needed. Also it is important to cross check the details and not to disclose everything about your personal life on the very first date. Though, the youngsters usually make these mistakes, matured dating is different than that.

You can also take help from various matchmaker sites. If you search on the website you will get thousands of matchmaker sites. But register with the trusted sites only. Also, make one account for this dating purpose only. So that you can keep a track of the people you are keeping in touch with. There are innumerable fraud people out there, so when you are building up your profile make sure it is perfect, no extra information is provided there.
Remember you are matured and a bit older than most of the people looking for a date. This is not because you didn't get somebody in your life or things didn't work out well for you in the past.  When other people were busy in their love life and relationships you were building up your professional life and now when you are matured enough and also have some time for your personal life, you want to find a partner for dating and long term relationship. So, take the direct way to approach and build up a health and loving relationship.


Never Forget:  Have Fun and Enjoy Managing Your Love Life

Friday, 1 July 2016

Ways to Deal With Jealousy After Surviving An Affair


Jealousy can be a really big obstacle when two partners are surviving an affair if they don't know how to manage and process this emotion. There are some healthier ways to process jealousy so you can prevent any problems in your efforts.

You may carry these emotions into a new relationship, which can be difficult to manage and overcome, making it difficult for both you and a new partner to move forward.

Here are 3 important tips for managing your response to jealousy:

Tip #1 Manage your physical response to jealousy. When you are surviving an affair jealousy is an emotion that is stronger than ever and you will feel it in different ways. When you feel like jealousy is about to explode inside you, in this moment you must stop and take a deep breath and try to get control over your emotions.
Even if jealousy is not justified you still need to do this. You have to remember that showing out your feelings in an aggressive way will cause more problems and surviving an affair will become much harder.
You have to stop those feelings before they grow or it will be almost impossible for you to make the choice not to act in an inappropriate way.
Tip #2 Take a look inside your mind and find out why you had this response. When jealousy is starting to appear and take control of your feelings, you tend to look at your partner's actions because you blame the other person for making you feel jealous.
But in fact you are the one who is feeling jealous and those feelings were born inside of you so you have to redirect your attention inside yourself and look for what is hurting you. When surviving an affair there are a lot of reasons that make you feel hurt.
You have to express your feelings to your partner especially if you are the one who is having jealous feelings through conversation and communication, because these are the best weapons for surviving an affair.
Tip #3 Use communication to express your feelings. You need to talk with your partner about your feelings that make you hurt instead of having an episode of bad jealousy. Also, you have to talk to your partner about those specific facts that are making you feel jealous and try so solve that situation.
If you are not accusing or blaming your partner of cheating it is more likely that they will respond to your pain in a more caring manner. This will help your efforts of surviving an affair, as you and your partner find ways to move forward together.


Any new relationship can be affected by things in the past, and effective, honest communication is the best way of resolving and working things out.

Saturday, 25 June 2016

Controlling Jealousy


Is your jealousy tearing your relationship apart? Are you jealous of every person in your spouse's life that came before you? Do you have a hard time trusting your partner because of your past history of being betrayed? Dr. Phil has advice if jealousy is threatening your future.

  • Ask yourself why you are choosing this behavior. Everybody has a way of being in the world. Is your way being jealous, accusatory, highly monitoring and smothering? Why are you choosing that?
  • Is it because you have a history of being cheated on? There's an expression: "What I fear, I create." Are you testing your partner until he just finally fails? If you fear that somebody is going to cheat on you, you may just push him to a point where someone else may grab his attention. Imagine if someone else treated your partner with dignity and respect, didn't challenge his integrity every minute of every hour, but was in fact accepting and peaceful and harmonious. These are things that really matter. You need to worry about what you're creating. Ask yourself: Are you responsible for the previous relationships in which you were betrayed? Did you run those previous partners off with your jealous behavior?
  • Jealousy is a poorly disguised need for power and control. Jealous people are tyrannical, controlling, domineering and completely insensitive to the impact of their actions on their partner. Are you getting a power trip off of this? Is the payoff that you keep your partner on a short leash and completely under your control?
  • Choose to respect your partner and make some different choices. You have more power in your love, respect, personality and magnetism than you do in control. You can't make him come home, but you can make him want to come home.

Advice for partners of jealous people:

  • You teach people how to treat you. It may be working for your partner to be jealous because you are paying him/her off. They get a control fix every time you reassure them, every time you answer the phone to report on your whereabouts. If he/she calls you 10 times to check in on you, answer the phone once to offer information, then turn it off. Stop reinforcing their behavior.
  • Although you don't want to pay your partner off for insecure or controlling behavior, you should be an open book. People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Respect your partner enough to let him/her know where you are, when you will be back, and what you're doing. 

Friday, 10 June 2016

Smart Decisions For People Over Forty To Reward the Rest of Your Life

If you stop to think about it, you know the difference between those who make smart, considered choices, and those who seem to let life push them around. You probably know people who succeed despite difficulties and bad breaks, and people who seem to have everything handed to them, but still can’t get it together. You know people whose lives seem full of satisfaction and accomplishment, and others who don’t feel that they have achieved anything worthwhile, so their lives are full of regret and complaints.
Cooperating and being congenial with the people you care about makes your relationships run more smoothly (at least on the surface). However, when you relinquish your power to decide for yourself, your self-esteem suffers, and you feel out of control and unimportant, even in your own life. 


As you reflect on the people you know, can you see the difference between those who know how to make good decisions, and those who aren’t sure what to do? None of us is completely confident with every choice we make in life, but those who understand that their decisions will create their outcome and choose accordingly feel more secure more of the time.

As a mature adult, you are approaching the time of greater freedom and greater responsibility toward yourself. Because you’ve lived long enough to master the basic skills of life, you may be wondering what else there is. For many in mid-life, going through days focused on material things and daily chores no longer seems to be sufficient. At this point, people begin to search for a different kind of meaning. “What is my life about?” they ask. “I have most everything I want. Why doesn’t it feel like enough?”

Understanding the important issues of this phase of your life, and being prepared to re-evaluate your goals, find meaning, and make new choices are the tasks you face now. How you meet these challenges will make the difference in how satisfying and rewarding the rest of your life will be. From experience, you know you cannot control everything that happens to you. But you can control the your reaction and response to the events around you. If you can think clearly despite changes, surprises and unplanned circumstances, you will make good choices, and succeed in all the ways you want to.

You can reorganize and restructure your goals to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, financially and socially, no matter what your life circumstances have brought you. This is your opportunity to make the most of your life, to bring long-awaited dreams into reality, and to create meaning and satisfaction for yourself.


Saturday, 12 March 2016

Emotional Abuse: The Victim and Abuser


An emotionally abusive marriage consists of a victim and an abuser. Dr. Phil has something to say to both.


The Abuser

  • Have you thought about how your actions truly affect your partner? Even when you stop the abuse, the pain continues because you've trampled on your loved one's heart and spirit.
  • Dr. Phil defines an abuser as both a coward and a bully. You choose to abuse where it is safe, in a place where you feel loved and protected. Would you do it in the workplace where you might get fired or in a social situation where others might get insulted?
  • You need to understand that respect is commanded, not demanded. If you think degrading and belittling your partner commands respect, you're wrong. You are simply demanding by imposing fear.
  • All abusers have excuses, says Dr. Phil. While the excuses vary, one principle remains: You are abusing instead of being constructive.
  • If you want to recover — for yourself and your partner — you need to tell yourself: "I'm not going to take this from me anymore." Sit down with your partner, look into his/her eyes, and apologize for the wounds you've inflicted over time.
  • Healing is a process. Rescuing your relationship will take patience and persistence.


The Victim

  • Take responsibility. You have played a role in setting up the relationship this way, and you must play a role in changing it. Telling your partner that the treatment is unacceptable is not enough. Your actions speak louder than words, so you need to make two bold moves: Change your own routine or behavior, and tell your partner you will no longer take the abuse.
  • Dr. Phil refers to a saying: "There are no victims, only volunteers." Don't go along to get along. Peace at any price is no peace at all.
  • Relationships are always up for renegotiation. You need to sit down with your partner, look him/her in the eyes, and tell him/her that you are taking a stand. You will not stay in the relationship if the abuse continues. From there, begin to negotiate. Figure out how both of you can take strides to make the marriage work.
  • Watch yourself to make sure you don't fall back into the victim role. 

Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Dealing with Control Issues


Is control a problem in your relationship?

  • Start taking responsibility for your actions. It's time to examine how your behavior might enable your controlling partner.
  • Negotiate boundaries with your spouse — not when you're arguing, but during "peace time." Agree to have a consequence if these boundaries are crossed. For example, if your controlling partner starts to dominate a discussion, call a time-out. Revisit the conversation only when you're ready.
  • If you're being pushed to your limit every day and you think about giving up, you will someday cave in. Giving up cheats you and your partner if you haven't both made a concerted effort to improve your relationship.
  • Ask yourself, "What is it costing me to be in this relationship?" If the answer is your dreams, identity, or dignity, the cost is too high.
  • Controlling people often participate in emotional extortion: "Agree with me, or else...." For the good of your relationship, sometimes it's best to agree to disagree.
  • Look at all of your options. You don't have to engage in explosive arguments when dealing with a controlling partner. Refuse to participate when your partner is trying to control you.
  • Suffering in silence isn't love. By not dealing with a controlling partner's behavior, you're only enabling it to continue, and are therefore cheating the relationship. 
  • Wednesday, 17 February 2016

    What Deep Rooted Fears Are Keeping You Single?

    It is very difficult to sit with a group of your friends and hear their stories and experiences that are taking place in their relationships - especially if you’re on your own. It will make you look at your life and wonder just how it is that you’re still single while all of your friends your age are married or at least in serious relationships. You start to feel down, depressed, frustrated and wonder if you’ll ever have what they do.


    Have you ever thought that this could be something that you’ve brought on yourself? There are actually fears that can keep you single and you may not even know that you have them.

    You may be afraid that you will be single forever. This is something that many single people fear whether they admit it or not. It usually happens when you’ve had a few, or more than a few, unpleasant or seriously awful relationships, especially in a row. Somewhere in the back of your mind you’re thinking that you may NEVER have that just right relationship. This can really worry you if it’s later in your life than you thought you’d be single. Men can tell when a woman is desperate and scared to be on her own. Sensing this can change the way a man feels toward you. So, you see, holding onto this fear that you’ll never meet the Mr. Right may very well push him away when he DOES show up.

    Another fear that can keep you single is the fear of losing your man. Most people are on their best behavior when they first meet. However, there are some guys that act creepy right out of the gate by assuming too much about where your relationship is going. They may even start getting possessive and/or controlling. Women that exhibit this same type of behavior with men after only a few dates will scare those men away. So when you start worrying about losing the guy before you ever really connect with him, it can make you act in ways that, while totally uncharacteristic of you, can cause the end of this relationship before it even starts.

    One of the top fears that might keep you single forever is that he will turn out to be just like your ex. This is pretty easy to understand. If your last relationship ended badly, you need to take enough time to get emotionally under control again. When you give it enough time, then your next man will get a fair chance without you comparing him to your ex. Breaking the emotional ties to your past, and the fear associated with it, helps you move away from the past without taking any old problems or patterns into the new relationship you’re trying to get off the ground.

    Be very honest about whether or not you have these fears. Only by admitting to them can you start getting rid of them. 

    Wednesday, 3 February 2016

    Online Dating: Are You Falling Prey To A Scam Artist?


    It’s easy for some of the smartest people to lose all sight of common sense when they're being reeled in by a catfish: an online imposter who tries to win your sympathy — and your love — by creating an elaborate scheme. Award-winning technology reporter Kurt Knutsson, known around the country as Kurt the CyberGuy, shares his top ten reality checks to see if you’re being baited by a catfish.

    If you identify with at least two of the below scenarios, Knutsson says you could be falling prey to a scam artist.

    1. Dumb Date Data
    Physical descriptions need to be proportional. For example, someone who is 6-feet tall usually does not weigh 90 lbs. Look for any other descriptions that don’t add up to the profile photo.

    Tip: Ask them to take a photo holding a unique phrase or their own name on it and send it to you. Ask to have a live video talk using Skype or Facetime. Most of today’s smartphones, tablets and laptops come equipped with a built-in camera and/or video. Someone reluctant to speak on live video, claiming shyness or that they can’t find a camera, should be a red flag.

    2. Profile Picture Test
    Professional photos are a red flag. Look for amateur photos — and more than one. Tip: Use a Google Goggles search on your phone to see if the photo they’ve shared with you can be spotted elsewhere online. If you see it shown with a watermark or in other settings like modeling websites, it’s likely a fake.

    3. Become a Photo Detective
    “This just takes it to the next level,” Knutsson says. Look for detail in photos — wedding rings, locations, activities, time of day, how they are dressed — to see if it matches. Someone claiming that a photo is from a July 4th fireworks party, who is dressed in a fur coat, in daylight, might be a dead giveaway that someone is lying.

    4. Cut and Paste Profile Alert
    Introductory letters on dating websites are often copied by catfish scammers. See if the same information appears in other places or has been copied from someone else by searching for it online. Out-of-country scams often slip up here, revealing inconsistent information such as landmarks and cultural events that don’t add up. For example, someone claiming to be from St. Louis who isn’t familiar with the iconic Gateway Arch when questioned is likely a liar.

    5. Spelling and Grammar Fail

    Hear the words when you read their writing, and check their spelling and grammar. A line that sounds like it could be from someone in a far-off country but portraying themselves to be in your same city will usually have a local dialect misfire.

    6. Derailing You from the Dating Site
    Red flags should be raised if, right off the bat, they want to get you to instant message or email, taking you off of the dating site where you originally met.

    Tip: Always create and use a unique email address that is different than your personal and professional addresses when setting up a dating website profile.

    7. Too Serious, Too Soon
    Watch out for someone rushing things. A catfish usually makes the first move, often out of left field and sometimes creates a bogus, dreamy profile that sounds like the ideal mate you’ve described in your own dating desires. They play on your sympathy and strike when you are the most vulnerable — caught up in the romance and emotional.

    8. Ask a Lot of Questions
    Inquire about where they are from, and verify landmarks and spellings of cities online. Blatant errors could mean it’s a scam. Catfishers like to ask you a lot of questions, but seldom let you go deep into their lives, coming up with excuses about why they are reluctant to offer more personal information about themselves. For example, they might say, “I’ve been hurt before by telling too much too soon,” which actually turns the tables on you to prove that you can be trusted — Red flag!

    9. You Are Not an ATM Machine
    If they ask for money, lock them out of your life. Shut off communication immediately, and close all open doors if you have a hint that it is a sympathy scam. Although most catfishers are not after money, this one should be a wake-up call to a scam.

    10. Facebook Fakers
    At this point, if someone has no Facebook page, but they are sophisticated enough to create an online dating profile, be warned. Also look out for potential fake Facebook pages.


    Signs of a fake Facebook profile can include the fact that the Facebook page was started near the same time that a dating profile elsewhere was established, if few photos are posted, or if there are no people tagged in their photos to show a connection in a relationship.

    If they are on Twitter, read through historic tweets to see if the story they tell matches up to the same the person you are prospectively dating. Like Facebook, Twitter accounts created around the same time as dating profiles should be treated with caution.

    Wednesday, 27 January 2016

    Warning Signs You May Be Dating a Married Man

    Think you've found the perfect man but some things just aren't adding up? Is he a bit of a mystery? Sarah Symonds is a former mistress and author of Having an Affair? A Handbook for the Other Woman. She gives her tips for recognizing the signs that a man you're dating may be married:

    • You met in a bar. "If you are meeting for the first time in a bar, that doesn't bode well. So many married men hang out in bars hoping to get lucky," Sarah says.
    • He has an indentation or tan line on his ring finger. When you first meet him, look for an obvious sign of a wedding ring that was just removed. 
    • He pays for dinners and drinks in cash. This could be because he doesn't want a paper trail or credit card bust from his wife.
    • He has more than one cell phone and won't give you both phone numbers. "One is for his wife, and one is for his secret life," Sarah says. Also note if he always goes outside to take private calls when he's with you.
    • He tends to call you while at the store, walking the dog, getting gas " places he's dashed out to in order to call. "These are places where he's escaped the family home to go out and call you, his secret lover," she says.
    • He doesn't reply to your texts for hours and is not available to talk freely in the evenings. He may ask you not to call after certain times. "It's because he's at home with his family and can't answer," Sarah says.
    • He's always busy on the weekends and doesn't want to make plans for less than 10 days time. He can't be spontaneous when he has a family to juggle.
    • He doesn't introduce you to his friends.
    • He finds excuses for why he can't invite you back to his place. "My main message to women out there who might fall for these things is to find a reason to go back to his place. If he won't take you home, there's a reason why," Sarah says.